Writing task 2-subject Art

QuestionsCategory: Writing Task 2Writing task 2-subject Art
myk171 asked 2 months ago

Thanks a lot for your time and assesment 
 
 
Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time.
 
Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
 
Write 250 words, 40 mins
 
Teaching art in young students can be considered that it is useless but some other think that it is crucial to teach them while they young scholars. In my opinion I agree that kids need to be thought the art classes in young ages.
 
Firstly, teaching art as one of the subjects at school will not only develop their creativity, it will also give them a great will to make their wishes or become some important in the future. Secondly, to teach art to kids, will also open up some avenues such as develop their imaginary behavior and their inner world. Due to art classes kids can be independent individuals when they are grow up. Additionally, art classes can also help them to develop their soft skills. In order to do that, art courses will help them to understand each other in a different aspects and it will improve behavioral skills.
 
Not to having art classes will rise communities that have no thinking, no questioning with no capability of productivity. Moreover, rising the kids as a solider not only will not help them understand each other but also they will not improve empathy to one an another.
 
In conclusion, I think that art is a major development factor to understand human being. Creativity and dreaming can get us anywhere we want to be in the future. Basic improvement of imaginary thoughts are the precursors that act as a catalyst to help us to improve human life, reaching the moon or even living on it.
 
 
254 words, 38 mins

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1 Answers
Thuy Dung Pham answered 1 month ago

Teaching art in for young students can be considered that it is useless but some others think that it is crucial to teach them while they are young scholars  youngsters. In my opinion, (comma) I agree that kids need to be thought the art classes in young ages.(unclear sentence)
 
Firstly, teaching art as one of the subjects at school will not only develop their creativity, it will but also give them a great will to make their wishes or become some important in the future (unclear sentence). Secondly, to teach art to kids, will also open up some avenues such as develop their imaginary behavior and their inner world. Due to Thanks for art classes, (comma) kids can be independent individuals when they are grow up. Additionally, art classes also can also help them to develop their soft skills. In order to do that, art courses will help them to understand each other (?) in a different aspects and it will improve behavioral skills.
 
Not to having art classes will rise communities that have no thinking, no questioning with no capability of productivity. Moreover, rising the kids as a solider not only will not help them understand each other but also they will not improve empathy to one an another. (Unclear idea)
 
In conclusion, I think that art is a major developmental factor to understand human being. Creativity and dreaming can get us anywhere we want to be in the future. Basic improvement of imaginary thoughts are the precursors that act as a catalyst to help us to improve human life, reaching the moon or even living on it.
 
Task achievement: 4.5 (responds to the task only in a minimal way, presents some main ideas but these are difficult to identify and may be repetitive, irrelevant or not well supported)
Coherence and Cohesion: 4.5 (presents information and ideas but these are not arranged coherently and there is no clear progression in the response)
Lexical Resource: 4.0 (uses only basic vocabulary which may be used repetitively or which may be inappropriate for the task)
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 4.0 (uses only a very limited range of structures with only rare use of  subordinate clauses, some structures are accurate but errors predominate, and punctuation is often faulty)
Overall: 4.0 (You have ideas but you did not know how to express the ideas in a proper way. The only way you can improve your writing is developing your reading skills. From that, you can learn how they express their ideas and how they use less common vocabulary)

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