Would you please check and evalute my essay – for an Academic IELTS essay.Give me bandscore for this.Thank you

QuestionsCategory: Writing Task 2Would you please check and evalute my essay – for an Academic IELTS essay.Give me bandscore for this.Thank you
sally asked 7 months ago

People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons ( for example: new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge .. etc) Why do you think people attend colleges or universities ?
           The tendency for people to study in university or college is differ from one to another for numerous reasons.
However, attaining a university degree and getting more knowledge are consider the two main factors.
           To begin with, for some people attending university is essential to gain more information before starting on their
new projects. To illustrate, some individuals may prefer to initiate their own business, establishing a new healthcare
center in some rural areas for example. These individuals believe that by enrolling in an accounting program in
university for instance, would help them with understanding and managing their business in a much better way. As they
will not only become more of an expert in analyzing and auditing their business, but will even have more self-
confidence in evaluating issues related to business’s financial profits.
             Another reason for people’s tendency towards finishing a university certificate is to find or improve their current
career position. Due to the fact that hiring companies usually prefer to employ individuals who hold Bachelor’s or
Ph.D.’s degree than those with high school diploma. This has resulted in encouraging more people to enroll to
universities. Moreover, some employees, who want to promote their current jobs in terms of their salary and position,
tend to register at a university, either as a part-time student or online course.
            All in all, people’s tendency to study in colleges or universities is variable. While some individuals’ main purpose
is to accept more experience and knowledge, others want to enhance their hiring opportunity or improve their current
job status.
 

Would you please check and evalute my essay – for an Academic IELTS essay.Give me bandscore for this.Thank you
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1 Answers
Nam Phuong answered 7 months ago

People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons ( for example: new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge .. etc) Why do you think people attend colleges or universities ?
The tendency for people to study in university or college is differ from one to another for numerous reasons.
However, attaining a university degree and getting more knowledge are consider (considered) the two main factors.
To begin with, for some people attending university (it) is essential to gain more information before starting on their new projects. To illustrate, some individuals may prefer to initiate their own business, establishing a new healthcare center in some rural areas for example. These individuals believe that by enrolling in an accounting program in university for instance, would help them with understanding and managing (understand and manage) their business in a much better way. As they will not only become more of an expert in analyzing and auditing their business, but will (they) even have more self- confidence in evaluating issues related to business’s financial profits (as well).
Another reason for people’s tendency towards finishing a university certificate is to find or improve their current career position. Due to the fact that hiring companies usually prefer to employ individuals who hold Bachelor’s or Ph.D.’s degree than those with high school diploma. This has resulted in encouraging more people to enroll to (in) universities. Moreover, some employees, who want to promote their current jobs in terms of their salary and position, tend to register (a course) at a university, either as a part-time student (part-time study) or online course.
All in all, people’s tendency to study in colleges or universities is variable. While some individuals’ main purpose is to accept more experience and knowledge, others want to enhance their hiring (career) opportunity or improve their current job status.

T.A: 8.0

  • address all parts of the task
  • well-developed response to the question with supported ideas

CC: 7.5

  • clear central idea within a paragraph

L.R: 7.5

  • wider range of vocabulary is more preferred

G.A: 7.5

  • good control of grammar and punctuation but have some minor errors

Overall: 7.5

Keep it up, buddy!

Would you please check and evalute my essay – for an Academic IELTS essay.Give me bandscore for this.Thank you
Rate this post

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