What can be done to prevent divorce? Problem-Solution

QuestionsCategory: Writing Task 2What can be done to prevent divorce? Problem-Solution
Ngamelody asked 1 year ago

Over recent years, divorce, which is commonly regarded as the utmost failure of a marriage, has prevailed in modern society and thus leads to considerably negative results. In fact, a number of elements are instrumental in causing divorce and several solutions can be applied to improve marital qualification.
To begin with, the most basic reason for a couple to be in contradiction with each other, which may result in divorce, is due to the lack of sympathy from both sides. In other words, that people are so conservative as well as opinionated when arguing will let their partners feel a lack of respect and a deterioration of harmony occurs as a ramification. Moreover, in term of marriage, people’s consciousness may not be sufficient enough to maintain a relationship. For instance, people are unaware of how serious the effect could be so the immature thought that divorce is the only way to deal with marital problem is always on their mind.
From my point of view, a simple yet efficient solution to this problem is to instruct people in the detrimental effect of divorce on each individual or even on the whole society. It is ideal to let them know the important role of a happy and fulfill family in the development and civilization of a society. The potential for children suffering from a broken family would be huge, so divorce is likely to be minimized if parents make all attempts to take more responsibility for their children. In other words, thinking of unfavorable results and psychological wounds young children will get can possibly reject the idea of ending a relationship with your spouse.
In conclusion, there is a wide range of approach to addressing the rising problem since modern citizens now have the tendency to split themselves when there is a marital issue. If people’s awareness is improved, it could soon be seen a significant drop in divorce rates.

What can be done to prevent divorce? Problem-Solution
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1 Answers
Rachel Evans answered 1 year ago

Over recent years, divorce, which is commonly regarded as the utmost failure of a marriage, has prevailed in modern society and thus leads to considerably negative results. In fact, a number of elements are instrumental in causing divorce and several solutions can be applied to improve marital qualification (word choice)// [did you mean ‘quality’].
To begin with, the most basic reason for a couple to be in contradiction with each other, which may result in divorce, is due to the lack of sympathy from both sides. In other words, that people are so conservative as well as opinionated when arguing will let their partners feel a lack of respect and a deterioration of harmony occurs as a ramification. Moreover, in term of marriage, people’s consciousness may not be sufficient enough to maintain a relationship. For instance, people are unaware of how serious the effect could be so the immature thought that divorce is the only way to deal with marital problem is always on their mind. (punctuation needed)
From my point of view, a simple yet efficient solution to this problem is to instruct people in (word choice) the detrimental effect of divorce on each individual or even on the whole society. It is ideal to let them know the important role of a happy and fulfill family in the development and civilization of a society. The potential for (word choice) children suffering from a broken family would be huge, so (choice of coherence device) divorce is likely to be minimized if parents make all attempts to take more responsibility for their children. In other words, thinking of unfavorable results and psychological wounds young children will get can possibly reject the idea of ending a relationship with your (personal pronouns should be avoided – this word is inappropriate here) spouse.
In conclusion, there is a wide range of approach to addressing the rising problem since modern citizens now have the tendency to split up (themselves) when there is a marital issue. If people’s awareness is improved, it could soon be seen a significant drop in divorce rates.
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Overall 6.0
You have good ideas, however, to get better band score, they should be better-polished and expressed.
Serious attention should be paid on word choice, especially in the use of preposition and phrasals

What can be done to prevent divorce? Problem-Solution
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