This is my first essay. Please check my essay. I have my exam on 17th December.

QuestionsThis is my first essay. Please check my essay. I have my exam on 17th December.
jenny asked 2 years ago

It is more important for school children to learn about their local history than world history. Do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that it is essential that children should master local history rather than world history in their school years. This essay agrees that teachers should teach local history first than world history in the school. Firstly, this essay will discuss how knowledge about local history helps to connect with their ancestors and secondly, the importance of knowledge about local history which helps in preserving the history.
Studying local history provides insights in to our cultures of origin. It tells us about our ancestors living ways and the difficulties they faced in their times. It allows us to contemplate about the past so we can have a better future and thus, learn from our forefathers mistakes. One of the example is Indus Valley civilisation whose archeological evidence showed their perfect urban planning which can be applied in this era of sprawling urbanisation.
Information about local history aids in conserving our history. Knowing about historical monuments spreads more awareness among the citizens and hence, steps to preserve them well. Students might not destroy the ancient buildings and statues later in life for their personal interests like housing or farming. It would interest them to store antique stuffs after knowing the historical facts and events related to it. For instance, Ancient Monument Protection Act was brought in force in 18th century by England government to conserve historical monuments.
In conclusion, local history should be taught in schools rather than world history because pupils can connect with their roots and it helps them to understand the importance of preserving the things depicting the history.

This is my first essay. Please check my essay. I have my exam on 17th December.
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1 Answers
Thuy Dung Pham answered 2 years ago

It is argued that it is essential that children should master local history rather than world history in their school years. This essay agrees that teachers should teach local history first than world history in the school. Firstly, this essay will discuss how knowledge about local history helps to connect with their ancestors and secondly, the importance of knowledge about local history which helps in preserving the history. (You should state each point as a beginning sentence of every single paragraph so that your essay could be much more concise)
Studying local history provides insights in to into our cultures of origin. It tells us about our ancestors living ways living style and the difficulties they faced in their times. It allows us to contemplate about the past so we can have a better future and thus, learn from our forefathers mistakes. One of the example is Indus Valley civilisation whose archeological evidence showed their perfect urban planning which can be applied in this era of sprawling urbanisation.
Information about local history aids in conserving our history. Knowing about historical monuments spreads more awareness among the citizens and hence, steps to preserve them well. Students might not destroy the ancient buildings and statues later in life for their personal interests like housing or farming. It would interest them to store antique stuffs after knowing the historical facts and events related to it. For instance, Ancient Monument Protection Act was brought in force in 18th century by England government to conserve historical monuments.
In conclusion, local history should be taught in schools rather than world history because pupils can connect with their roots and it helps them to understand the importance of preserving the things depicting the history.
Task achievement: 6.0 (addresses all parts of the task, presents, extends and supports main ideas)
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0 (logically organises information and ideas and there is a clear overall progression)
Lexical Resource: 5.5 (uses a limited range of vocabulary, make noticeable errors in spelling and word formation that may cause some difficulty for the reader)
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6.0 a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, makes some minor errors in grammar)
Overall: 6.5 (good organisation and good ideas)

This is my first essay. Please check my essay. I have my exam on 17th December.
Rate this post

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