The gap between the rich and the poor. Please, evaluate my essay and give your feedback.

QuestionsCategory: Problem-SolutionThe gap between the rich and the poor. Please, evaluate my essay and give your feedback.
Anastasia asked 3 years ago

The gap between the rich and the poor is becoming wider; the rich is becoming richer, and the poor are getting even poorer. What problems can the situation cause? What can be done to reduce this gap?
 
At the present time the stratification of society is still a common fact that causes a lot of global problems, which, as I see, can be solved at least to some extent.
The first extensive problem that this situation causes is the increasing cost of high-quality medicine, education and simply healthy life style, including food, for people with lower income. They can’t afford to buy good quality food and prefer to save money buying junk food that leads to unhealthy lifestyle and obesity.  Also, they are becoming unable to use cultural entertainments that leads to their degradation in the society. Additionally, low-income people tend not to have career advancement and usually have poor living conditions. They stop believing in life improvements, become confined to their social circle and start feeling frustrated, desperate and depressed that leads to crime rate increase, revolutionary-minded cliques and a breakup of the community in general.
Considering the problems pointed above, I see some solutions could be offered to tackle them. First of all, I believe that the government should be largely responsible. It should set up a progressive taxation system that will equate people’s tax spendings pro rata to their salaries. Also, sumptuary tax must be introduced. It will help to collect more money from the high-end segment of the society to support those who are in need, at the same time financing healthcare and educational systems.
In terms of individuals, people should be encouraged to be organized into special communities to take care of one another’s vital needs, receive financial support when necessary and motivate each other.
To sum up, in spite of the recent updates in the legislation and new political visions, we are still facing the problem of extreme poverty and enormous wealth that have a strong and negative impact on the society. To reduce the gap between these two extremes, the steps, mentioned above must be taken, provided the governments’ active involvement.

1 Answers
Nam Phuong answered 3 years ago

The gap between the rich and the poor is becoming wider; the rich is becoming richer, and the poor are getting even poorer. What problems can the situation cause? What can be done to reduce this gap?
 
At the present time the stratification of society is still a common fact that causes a lot of global problems, which, as I see, can be solved at least to some extent.
The first extensive problem that this situation causes is the increasing cost of high-quality medicine, education and simply healthy life style, including food, for people with lower income. They can’t afford to buy good quality food and prefer to save money buying junk food that leads to unhealthy lifestyle and obesity.  Also, they are becoming unable to use cultural entertainments that leads to their degradation in the society. Additionally, low-income people tend not to have career advancement and usually have poor living conditions. They stop believing in life improvements, become confined to their social circle and start feeling frustrated, desperate and depressed that leads to crime rate increase, revolutionary-minded cliques and a breakup of the community in general.
Considering the problems pointed above, I see some solutions could be offered to tackle them. First of all, I believe that the government should be largely responsible. It (They) should set up a progressive taxation system that will equate people’s tax spendings pro rata(???) to their salaries. Also, sumptuary tax must be introduced (enacted/ enforced). It will help to collect more money from the high-end segment of the society to support those who are in need, at the same time financing (finance)  healthcare and educational systems.
In terms of individuals, people should be encouraged to be organized into special communities to take care of one another’s vital needs, receive financial support when necessary and motivate each other.
To sum up, in spite of the recent updates in the legislation and new political visions, we are still facing the problem of extreme poverty and enormous wealth that have a strong and negative impact on the society. To reduce the gap between these two extremes, the steps, mentioned above must be taken, provided the governments’ active involvement.

T.R: 7.5

  • present clear position throughout

C.C: 7.5

  • logically sequence ideas and information

L.R: 7.0

  • spelling and vocabulary errors.

G.A: 7.0

  • you should use a wider range of complex structure

Overall: 7.5

Good job!

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