The birth rate in most developed countries is predicted to begin to fall over the next 50 years. By 2030 it is estimated that over one third of the poulation in most developed countries will be aged65 and over. What effects will these predictions have on developed countries if if they prove true ? What can be done now to deal with the situation?

QuestionsCategory: Problem-SolutionThe birth rate in most developed countries is predicted to begin to fall over the next 50 years. By 2030 it is estimated that over one third of the poulation in most developed countries will be aged65 and over. What effects will these predictions have on developed countries if if they prove true ? What can be done now to deal with the situation?
dhanyapeter asked 5 months ago

Although many opine that the elderly should be supported by the government, it will bring detrimental effects to the society when their number increases. If there are more than thirty- three percent of elderly by 2030,it would be difficult for others to survive in that country due to several problems associated with the delegation of natural resources and funds. This essay will discuss certain problems that the nation has to encounter and suggest some solutions associated with it.
                                  Admittedly, it would be difficult for the government to raise money for the old and the sick people who are staying in the hospital due to age related problems as they are many. Precisely,the government has other responsibilities including trade and commerce,travel and tourism, education and industrial requirements rather than allocating huge sums of money for the unhealthy old people.For example, in developed countries such as the UK , the government has to spend bugs of money for the betterment of the old ages. If their number doubles,it will definitely hit the financial development and the country could experience economic recession.
                                The most effective solution to tackle this problem is by enacting laws particularly related to family norms. For example,governments have to increase children’s ratio per families rather than sticking on the current two-child family norm. Therefore,the younger and the older generation would be almost in the same proportion. In addition to that, government will be easily benefited when youngsters are interested to explore new countries, pursue higher education, and doing businesses
                                    In conclusion, even though it is hard to believe that more than a third of the population in developed countries will be the older people in the forseeable future,it is necessary to take effective methods to overcome such problems
 

The birth rate in most developed countries is predicted to begin to fall over the next 50 years. By 2030 it is estimated that over one third of the poulation in most developed countries will be aged65 and over. What effects will these predictions have on developed countries if if they prove true ? What can be done now to deal with the situation?
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1 Answers
Rachel Evans answered 4 months ago

Although many opine that the elderly should be supported by the government, it will bring detrimental effects to the society when their number increases. If there are more than thirty-three percent of elderly by 2030, it would be difficult for others to survive in that country (should mention the country – developed/ underdeveloped or developing country.. before using that/ these/ the…) due to several problems associated with the delegation (?! – word choice) of natural resources and funds. This essay will discuss certain problems that the nation has to encounter and suggest some solutions associated with it.
Admittedly, it would be difficult for the government to raise money for the old and the sick people who are staying in the hospital due to age related problems as they are many. Precisely, the government has other responsibilities including trade and commerce,travel and tourism, education and industrial requirements rather than allocating huge sums of money for the unhealthy old people.For example, in developed countries such as the UK , the government has to spend bugs of money (word choice) for the betterment of the old ages. If their number doubles, it will definitely hit the financial development and the country could/ [would] experience economic recession.
(where is the part mentioning problem associated with natural resources?)
The most effective solution to tackle this problem is by enacting laws particularly related to family norms. For example, governments have to increase children’s ratio per families rather than sticking on the current two-child family norm. Therefore,the younger and the older generation would be almost in the same proportion. In addition to that, government will be easily benefited when youngsters are interested to explore new countries, pursue higher education, and doing businesses. (How is this relevant to the benefit of a nation? Make sure you clarify this, or this sentence is completely out of space)
In conclusion, even though it is hard to believe that more than a third of the population in developed countries will be the older people in the forseeable future, it is necessary to take effective methods to overcome such problems. (at least list some aforesaid problems here)

dhanyapeter, I have pointed out some problems with your essay above.
Your body paragraphs should address all the ideas mentioned on the thesis statement on the introduction or else your mark would be dramatically reduced. For example, in this essay, you mentioned 2 probs namely fund allocating issues, and something related to natural resources – which means, the main part of the essays, at least 2 paragraphs should be dedicated to address those ideas. Moreover, by means of giving illustration, make sure it crystal clear and relevant to the topic of each paragraph. Like the example given on the 3 paragraph, it seems off as you mentioned explore new countries. Just give 1 or 2 more sentences to make readers understand your stance of view.
Stronger supporting ideas are highly recommened.
Overall, this essay should get around 5.5 or 6.0.
Best of luck,

The birth rate in most developed countries is predicted to begin to fall over the next 50 years. By 2030 it is estimated that over one third of the poulation in most developed countries will be aged65 and over. What effects will these predictions have on developed countries if if they prove true ? What can be done now to deal with the situation?
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