Plz assess my academic writing task 2

QuestionsCategory: Writing Task 2Plz assess my academic writing task 2
Ankit asked 2 years ago

It is not very important to establish good relationships with colleagues (or other students), as the primary goal of every person is to focus on work (or study).
To what extent do you agree with this statement?

There is a plethora of people who think it is better to concentrate just on work or study than creating relations with colleagues or fellow pupils. In my opinion, we should also emphasize on establishing healthy relationship with them as it is far beneficial for our success. I feel this for two main reasons, which I will explore further.
First of all, the establishment of prosperous relations with fellow students provides us with efficient knowledge and skills necessitated for academic success. More often our colleagues possess the relevant information of our needs and chances of acquiring this crucial information become excessive if relations with them are well-nourished. I had a good experience of keeping relation with my fellow students while studying in computer science class. I had meaningful conversations several times a day with them. Also undoubtedly, I gained extensive knowledge from them about website designing and development as they both were part-time programmers as well. As a result, my final exam grade was much satisfactory than even I expected.
Secondly, developing relationship with others is essential to be relaxed in our hectic and tedious lifestyle. Spending leisure time with fellow workers is most crucial thing to alleviate stress of detrimental workload. For example, I am used to play badminton during a break hour at my office with my colleagues. This kind of activity with fellow workers provides me with relaxing moments to come out from intricate working conditions. My life at office would be extremely arduous without good relation with my office workers.
In conclusion, I am of the opinion that we must develop relationship with colleagues or fellow students because this helps us to achieve adequate knowledge and skills required to be succeed in academic career and also because this makes us feel relaxed and to sustain hectic and tedious lifestyle.

Plz assess my academic writing task 2
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