Pls correct and rate this essay..I have ielts on 16th feb. Help out in getting 7+score pls

QuestionsPls correct and rate this essay..I have ielts on 16th feb. Help out in getting 7+score pls
vinay123 asked 2 years ago

Nowadays more and more older people compete with younger people for the same jobs. What can be the reason for this? What would you suggest as a solution?
In recent years, world has become competitive in all aspects of human life especially in working sector. Ageing population have been serious contender for all types of jobs and therefore results in diminishing of young employees in work environment. Here in this essay, I would like to outline some causes and remedies for the same.
To begin with, older workers are experienced and skilled professionals in their field and can tackle any kind of lethal situations of a company. For example, a senior professional, as a consequence, of his wide experience and knowledge can handle the work in recession and enhance the profit of the company. In contrast, due to lack of inexperience and inconfidence younger employees are not capable to take decisions in crucial situations. Hence, corporate companies would prefer experienced professionals.
Furthermore, experienced professionals have their proven records of achievements in their work and hence are capable of handling a team or a project immediately after they join and need not to spend much on their training, but younger people require adequate training and time to acquire enough skill sets to work proficiently. In such situations, companies feel worth hiring an experienced person instead of newbie. Apart from that, it is believed seniors are polite, well disciplined, matured and work under enormous pressure at work place while, youngsters are aggressive, not serious, and impatience in gigantic work load. Therefore, older people are preferred.
Diverse remedial actions need to be taken to fade this concern. Initially, younger students should be nourished with real work experience projects during their graduation to acquire exceptional skill set to compete with seniors. Regimes should encourage companies for hiring newbie by giving tax concession or loans at less interest rate. There should be stringent regulations to maintain proper ratio of seniors and juniors in work environment. In conclusion, elderly people should be a trustworthy mentor to the junior staff to bestow an impression that they are also youth and to co operate with them under difficult situation to acquire better opportunity and to feel a mixed work environment.

Pls correct and rate this essay..I have ielts on 16th feb. Help out in getting 7+score pls
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1 Answers
Rachel Evans answered 2 years ago

In recent years, world has become competitive in all aspects of human life especially in working sector. Ageing population have has been serious contender for all types of jobs and therefore results in diminishing of young employees in work environment. Here in this essay, I would like to outline some causes and remedies for the same.
To begin with, older workers are experienced and skilled professionals in their field and can tackle any kind of lethal situations of a company. For example, a senior professional, as a consequence, of his wide experience and knowledge, can handle the work in recession and enhance the profit of the company. In contrast, due to lack of inexperience and inconfidence younger employees are not capable to take of taking decisions in crucial situations. Hence, corporate companies would prefer experienced professionals.
Furthermore, experienced professionals have their proven records of achievements in their work and hence are capable of handling a team or a project immediately after they join and need not to spend much on their training, but younger people require adequate training and time to acquire enough skill sets to work proficiently. In such situations, companies feel worth hiring an experienced person instead of newbie. Apart from that, it is believed seniors are polite, well disciplined, matured and work under enormous pressure at work place while, youngsters are aggressive, not serious, and impatience in gigantic work load. Therefore, older people are preferred.
Diverse remedial actions need to be taken to fade this concern. Initially, younger students should be nourished with real work experience projects during their graduation to acquire exceptional skill set to compete with seniors. Regimes should encourage companies for hiring newbie by giving tax concession or loans at less interest rate. There should be stringent regulations to maintain proper ratio of seniors and juniors in work environment.
In conclusion, elderly people should be a trustworthy mentor to the junior staff to bestow an impression that they are also youth and to co operate with them under difficult situation to acquire better opportunity and to feel a mixed work environment.
TA – 7.0

  • address all parts

CC – 7.0

  • present a clear central topic within each paragraph

LR – 7.0

  • use a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow flexibility
  • use less lexico with awareness

GRA – 7.0

  • use a variety range of complex structures
  • should pay attention to punctuation

Overall 7.0

Pls correct and rate this essay..I have ielts on 16th feb. Help out in getting 7+score pls
Rate this post

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