Please Thuy Dung Pham check my writing task_1. I need your help…

QuestionsCategory: Line ChartPlease Thuy Dung Pham check my writing task_1. I need your help…
livermore asked 3 months ago


The given line graph provides data on garments expert in three countries: Colombia, Japan, Myanmar between 1999 and 2003.
The line graph clearly elicited that in first year Japan and Colombia clothing rates sood at approximately $ 580.000 and nearly $ 480.000 accordingly while Myanmar expert figures began at 0. Afterwards Japan export trend almost did not change until 2001 when export rates rose mildly to reach exactly $ 600.000. However upward trend did not stay there very long. Namely, it declined gradually over the 3 years to $ 500.000. Colombia figures climbed slowly for 4 years. Unlike Japan the peak lavel of Colombia in 2002 which $ 700.000. Nevertheless, upward tendency fell moderately to $ 600.000 which is similar to Japan highest result. By comparison, Myanmar export rates adruptly boomed exactly eightfold in 2000 and ceiling trend uplifted markedly to about $ 950.000 which is the highest result among the 3 countries over the period shown in the line graph. Although clothing export of Myanmar fluctuated dramatically to $ 350.000. Between 2002 and 2003 downward tendency upsurged tediously to $ 420.000.
Overall, Colombia and Japan trend were almost remained constant were as Myanmar export figures dominated above the own counterparts  until 2001, then it broken.   

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livermore replied 3 months ago

Please check my essay task1

1 Answers
Thuy Dung Pham answered 3 months ago

The given line graph provided data on garments expert in three countries: Colombia, Japan, Myanmar between 1999 and 2003.
The line graph clearly elicited indicated that in first year Japan and Colombia clothing rates stood at approximately $ 580.000 and nearly $ 480.000 accordingly (accordingly should not be here!!!) while Myanmar expert export figures began at 0. Afterwards, Japan export trend almost did not change until 2001 when export rates rose mildly to reach exactly $ 600.000. However upward trend did not stay there very long(informal!!!)-> was not maintained in long-term. Namely-> In particular, it declined gradually over the 3 years to $ 500.000. Colombia figures climbed slowly for 4 years. Unlike Japan, the peak lavel-> level of Colombia in 2002 which was $ 700.000. Nevertheless, upward tendency fell moderately to $ 600.000 which is similar to Japan highest result. By In comparison, Myanmar export rates adruptly boomed exactly eight-fold in 2000 and ceiling trend uplifted markedly to about $ 950.000 which is the highest result among the 3 countries over the period shown in the line graph. Although clothing export of Myanmar fluctuated dramatically to $ 350.000, … (this sentence is not finished?) Between 2002 and 2003, downward tendency upsurged tediously to $ 420.000. (cut down on statistics!!! Not necessary to include every data of the graph)
Overall, Colombia and Japan trend were almost remained constant were as whereas Myanmar export figures dominated above the own counterparts  until 2001 then it was broken (? ‘broken’ is not appropriate)-> before it collapsed.
Feedback
Task achievement: 6.0 (probably have addressed most of the requirements of the task, information still need to be more selective)
Cohesion and coherence: 6.5 (good flow)
Lexical Resource: 6.5 (spelling mistakes, some words are not appropriately used)
Grammar Range and Accuracy: 5.5 (errors in grammar and punctuation, simple and complex sentence structures are used)
Overall: 6.0
(next time please attach the original figure along with your work. Cannot tell if you’ve fully addressed the topic)

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livermore replied 3 months ago

Please check my essay task1