Please review my essay and provide feedback thanks in advance.

QuestionsCategory: Writing Task 2Please review my essay and provide feedback thanks in advance.
Balachandhar Raghu asked 4 years ago

Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business.What do you think that is?What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts?
The importance of art and its relationship with our culture are inseparable from the history of human evolution.Here we are going to discuss the importance of art and analyse it fading phase from our day to day life.”Art” as the word sounds more like our heart, Yes it is something associated with our instincts and thoughts rather than the brain.Art can take various forms from architectures to sculptures and knitting to painting. Every art is unique and they represent the clan of people by whom it was created.
The advancements in technology has prevented us from enjoying the art. We stopped visiting museums and cultural houses where the art and articraft are displayed citing the lack of time.This has made our younger generation forget the importance of our culture and arts associated with them. If the forthcoming generation dont understand the importance of art then slowly our art and culture will fade away leaving no shades of existence.
                                                           The younger Generation are more inclined towards technology based entertainment rather than thought based art. Mobile phones to gaming console have become a vast addictive source in children and teenagers. These colorful simulations with more of entertainment make them glued to their devices rather than making them test their skills and improve it towards a particular art.
                                                           The education system should adopt art as an important subject with teachers to encourage children in performing arts and improving their skills towards a particular art. Art always improves a child’s imagination and generates new ideas. Considering this parents should take considerable effort for the child to get along with the art of his choice rather than constraining him to the subjects and making him run for numbers. 

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