Please critic my answer to this Task 1 question. Your help could help me improve my writing.

QuestionsPlease critic my answer to this Task 1 question. Your help could help me improve my writing.
novem_abellana asked 3 years ago

The bar chart below shows the distribution of different income groups of men aged 25-44 in Sydney according to whether they were born in Australia or overseas.

The bar graph compares the salaries of Australian men and foreign-born men in Sydney in 2003.
It is clear that both men differ on how much they earn. In particular, the highest proportion of Australians were middle-income earners, whereas the top figure of overseas-born men belongs to the lower-middle income group.
In 2003, the highest figure of Australians, at 35%, earned 600 to 1,000 dollars. In comparison, about nearly a third of foreigners had his income. Moreover, a disparity of just around 4% can be observed amongst men who belong to the lower-middle-income group.
Furthermore, just 5% difference between men can be seen in the high-income group. Finally, a big dissimilarity can be observed on both men who earned less than 300 dollars. Nearly 15% of Australians earned this amount, whereas more than a fifth of foreigners had this income.

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