Please could you check and scored my writing task?

QuestionsCategory: Writing Task 2Please could you check and scored my writing task?
Zouhair asked 1 year ago

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is often argued that sharing knowledge and information in different aspect of world is worthy whilst a school of thought maintains that should be some limitations of sharing information for free. Both views have their merits; however, I believe that the latter point is more reasonable. The further paragraphs will first discuss both point views and then give an opinion.
On the one hand, sharing information in many aspects of life, such as scientific research or business may help to develop human life as whole and reduce differences between poor and rich countries. For example, if many African countries have access freely to medical researches done in North America or Europe it would improve enormously their healthcare decreasing the remarkable rate of mortality. As well as, if they receive all kind of information about how they can manage their business it would be not a shadow of doubt that their economy would improve, thereby social conflicts, often armed, would disappear.
On the other hand, it is worth to say that sharing some important information freely, such as medical or military researches would be disadvantageous because the country where those researches are done spend a huge amount of money and human effort to achieve positive results that could improve their society. Therefore, exchanging crucial information it could affect negatively the global development if it was done for free.
In conclusion, it does not seem unreasonable to affirm that sharing some kind of information should be limited because of the resources used, such as money and human effort.
 
 

Please could you check and scored my writing task?
5 (100%) 2 votes

1 Answers
Rachel Evans answered 1 year ago

It is often argued that sharing knowledge and information in different aspect of world is worthy whilst a school of thought maintains that should be some limitations of sharing information for free. Both views have their merits; however, I believe that the latter point is more reasonable. The further paragraphs will first discuss both point views and then give an opinion.

On the one hand, sharing information in many aspects of life, such as scientific research or business may help to develop human life as whole and reduce differences between poor and rich countries. For example, if many African countries have access freely free access to medical researches done in North America or Europe, it would improve enormously their healthcare decreasing (word form) the remarkable rate of mortality. As well as, (I think it’s better to alternate this expression with something else) if they receive all kind of information about how they can/ to manage their business, it would be not a shadow of doubt that their economy would improve, thereby social conflicts, often armed, would disappear.

On the other hand, it is worth to say that sharing some important information freely, such as medical or military researches would be disadvantageous because the country countries where those researches are done spend (tense) a huge amount of money and human effort to achieve positive results that could improve their society (I think this sentence’s yet completed). Therefore, exchanging crucial information it could affect negatively the global development if it was done for free.

In conclusion, it does not seem unreasonable to affirm that sharing some kind of information should be limited because of the resources used, such as money and human effort.
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Overall 7.0- (firm 6.5)
Good use of vocab, and ideas.

Please could you check and scored my writing task?
5 (100%) 2 votes

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