please could you check and scored my essay

QuestionsCategory: Opinionplease could you check and scored my essay
Zouhair asked 1 year ago

Discuss the importance of social media and freedom of speech. Why is social media important for freedom in society? Some people say that it is impossible to live without social media in this modern era of technology. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? 
Social media has become a basic part in this modern era which technology is one of the most remarkable components. As well as social media is often seen as a symbol of freedom of speech. This essay agrees with that suggestion partially because of the benefits that it brings to individuals. The further paragraphs will explain how social media could have a negative impact in society and then discuss how this kind of communication has played an important role to develop the modern culture.
On the one hand, social media can be a perfect way to trick people. For example, there is a wide range of advertisements that their unique goal is deceiving individuals. As well as, many hackers use their knowledge to take advantages of innocent people. It is worth pointing that social media is also an adequate way to spread false news about citizens and governments due to lack of control on this sort of communication.
 On the other hand, it is not a shadow of doubt that social media has positively revolutionized the modern culture. This sort of communication is the perfect way to maintain individuals connected to each other. For example, Skype, Whatsapp or Facebook have improved enormously the communication between people making it easier and eliminating the difficulties of distance. Social media also contributes to spread information and news about the latest events around the world. Thus, it helps people to be updated with world events.
In conclusion, it does not seem unreasonable to say that social media is a worth component in this new era even though it has some drawbacks.

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1 Answers
bee answered 1 year ago

Social media has become a basic part in this modern era which(where) innovative technology(technologies) is(are) one of the most remarkable components. As well as(?) Due to the fact that …. social(mass) media(same word) is often seen as a symbol of freedom of speech, this essay agrees with that suggestion( with the given statement) partially because of the benefits that it brings to individuals( If you are partly agree with the statement, please , do not highlight only advantage or disadvantage side in your introduction , you may say both of them in contrast)  . The further paragraphs will explain how social media(same word) could have a negative impact in(on) society and then discuss how this kind of communication(?) has playsed an important role to develop the modern culture( in developing of a society).
( Use a break line so as to distinguish your paragraphs) On the one hand, social media(Same word) can be a perfect way to trick people. For example, there is(are) a wide range of advertisements that their unique  the main goal of which is deceiving individuals. As well as( not appropriate phrase) Moreover, many hackers use their knowledge to take advantages(?) of innocent people. It is worth pointing that social media(same word) is also an adequate(wrong word) way to    of spreading false news about citizens and governments due to (  because of lack of control on (under) this sort of communication( wrong words). On the other hand, it is not a shadow of doubt that social media(same word) has positively revolutionized the modern culture. This sort of communication is the perfect way to maintain individuals connected to each other. For example, Skype, Whatsapp or Facebook( they are not soft mass media, they are social networks) have improved enormously the communication between people making it easier and eliminating the difficulties of distance. Social media( same word) also contributes to spread information and news about the latest events happening around  in the world. Thus, it helps people to be updated( wrong word)  with  aware of world events. In conclusion, it does not seem unreasonable to say that social media(same word) is a worth component in this new era even though it has some drawbacks.
 
P.S.: Overall 5.0 
Task achievement 5.0
Coherence and cohesion 4.5
Grammar 4.5
Lexical resource 5.0

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