Please could you check and score my writing task 2. Thanks

QuestionsCategory: DicussionPlease could you check and score my writing task 2. Thanks
Zouhair asked 1 year ago

In some countries, shops manufacture and sell their own products. Some people believe that is a positive development; others see this as a negative development. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is quite clear that some companies have taken a different economic strategy than classical one to succeed and they have decided to have their own manufacturing facilities.  A school of thought argues with this strategy and considers it advantageous to society whilst others maintain that this way of doing business would be a disadvantage to development. Both points of views have their merits; however, I believe that former view is more reasonable.   
On the one hand, domestic manufacturing have a wide range of benefits that help to develop an economy.  Firstly, it permits to have a control of the process of production from the beginning to the end; thereby the company may improve and maintain the quality and excellence of each product. Another worth advantage is the reduction of production’s cost because purchasing raw materials directly from manufacturers eliminate a noticeable amount of profit earned by intermediaries. As well as it serves to advertise the region and thus, attract tourists.
On the other hand, this way of business also has a multitude of weak points. Its most remarkable drawback would be a lower competitiveness with companies that use raw materials from different places around the world, which are cheaper and they have almost the same quality.  It is worth pointing out that manufacturing and selling the own products depend enormously on the local demands. As a result, these companies need to find employees with high abilities to attract consumers and spend an important amount of money to train their sellers.
In conclusion, although there are valid reasons why having a domestic manufacturing would affect negatively to development, it is reasonable to conclude that this strategy contribute to develop a country and improve its economy.
 

Please could you check and score my writing task 2. Thanks
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1 Answers
bee answered 1 year ago

It is quite clear that some companies have taken a different economic strategy than classical one to succeed and they have decided to have their own manufacturing facilities. A school of thought argues with this strategy and considers it advantageous to society whilst others maintain that this way of doing business would be a disadvantage to development. Both points of views have their merits; however, I believe that former view is more reasonable. On the one hand, domestic manufacturing have a wide range of benefits that help to develop an economy. Firstly, it permits to have a control of(under the production process) the process of production from the beginning to(till) the end; thereby the company may improve and maintain the quality and excellence of each product. Another worth advantage is the reduction of production’s cost because purchasing raw materials directly from manufacturers eliminate a noticeable amount of profit earned by intermediaries. As well as it serves to advertise the region and thus, attract tourists. On the other hand, this way of business also has a multitude of weak points. Its most remarkable drawback would be a lower competitiveness with companies that use raw materials from different places around the world, which are cheaper and they have almost the same quality. It is worth pointing out that manufacturing and selling the own products depend enormously on the local demands. As a result, these companies need to find employees with high abilities to attract consumers and spend an important amount of money to train their sellers. In conclusion, although there are valid reasons why having a domestic manufacturing would affect negatively to development, it is reasonable to conclude that this strategy contribute to develop a country and improve its economy.
 
P.S.: Good job , strong arguments . I put 7.5

Please could you check and score my writing task 2. Thanks
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