Please correct my essay! I will sit the test in Australia next month

QuestionsCategory: Problem-SolutionPlease correct my essay! I will sit the test in Australia next month
Harie Jane asked 1 year ago

WRITING TASK 2 TOPIC: 

The Internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the Internet and what solutions can you suggest?

Essay:
It is no doubt true that the Internet has played an direct role in changing the way information is shared and consumed. Although this has resulted in many new problems which people did not face before, there are some solutions to mitigate these issues.

The change of sharing and consuming information due to the Internet has brought about several serious problems. First, the information on the Internet is not reliable at all because it is not checked carefully by a publisher like traditional newspapers. The Internet allows people to post everything they want without checking so readers may get false information sometimes, and in turn their understanding cannot improve in the right way. Second, since online news is updated every single minute, people gradually waste a huge amount of their time to read news on the Internet. In my country, for example, people usually spend at least one hour per day surfing the Internet, especially loging into Facebook, to get news from their friends.

Although the Internet has caused many problems in sharing and consuming information, some steps should be taken to mitigate them. One solution is that readers should get online news selectively  by choosing reliable source to read. Google news is one of the most reputable sources that we can follow in order to get news and expand our horizons. Another solution is that people should fix their time reasonably when they read news. Instead of acquiring all news which maybe not be necessary, we should choose news which we think is important to read, and therefore we can save time to do other better things, such as studying or working.

In conclusion, while the change of sharing and consuming information due to the Internet has caused various problems, we still have some solutions to mitigate them.

Please correct my essay! I will sit the test in Australia next month
5 (100%) 1 vote

1 Answers
Harie Jane answered 1 year ago

Here is the feedback for your essay:
It is no doubt true that the Internet has played an (a) direct role in changing the way information is shared and consumed. Although this has resulted in many new problems which people did not face before, there are some solutions to mitigate these issues.

The change of (==> in) sharing and consuming information due to the Internet has brought about several serious problems. First, the information on the Internet (==> online information) is not reliable at all because it is not checked carefully by a publisher like traditional newspapers. The Internet allows people to post everything they want without checking (==> information being checked) so readers may get false information sometimes, and in turn their understanding cannot improve (==>be improved) in the right way. Second, since online news is updated every single minute, people gradually waste a huge amount of their time to read news on the Internet. In my country,( be more specific by naming your country like Australia, India, etc) for example, people usually spend at least one hour per day surfing the Internet, especially logging into Facebook, to get news from their friends.

Although the Internet has caused many problems in (–>with) sharing and consuming information, some steps should be taken to mitigate them. One solution is that readers should get online news selectively  by choosing reliable source (==> sources) to read. Google news is one of the most reputable (==>reliable) sources that we can follow in order to get news and expand our horizons. Another solution is that people should fix (==>spend) their time reasonably (==>wisely)  when they read (==>on reading) news. Instead of acquiring all news which maybe not be (==>may not be) necessary, we should choose news which we think is important to read, and therefore  (==> in this way) we can save time to do other better things, such as studying or working.
In conclusion, while the change of (==>in) sharing and consuming information due to the Internet has caused various problems, we still have some solutions to mitigate them.
This essay is really well-written, and it could surely receive a high score if the number of minor errors is reduced. 

Please correct my essay! I will sit the test in Australia next month
5 (100%) 1 vote

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