Please check my work

QuestionsCategory: Writing Task 2Please check my work
Daryn asked 1 year ago

Task2
In some countries, more parents are educating thier kids in home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantage will overweigh the disadvantage?
 
It is obviously that education is crucial for children and normally students get knowledge from schools.However,parents face the dilemma whether hiv own child to school or give appropriate knowledge themselves. There would seem to be clear benefits and drawbacks of parents educating child.
It is undeniably that by educating children can have many positive effects.Firstly,students who are studying will not have issue of bullying.Impact of bullying leads to degradation of psychology and to unconfidenc of children.Moreover,behavior of class can influence on child’s behavior too. Youngsters may  imitate bad actions from peers such as:smoking,drinking.It is all because of the peer pressure.Finally,by giving own child to school parents will not consume huge amount of money to prepare children to school.For instance; in Kazakhstan  parents whose child is studying at school are buying special uniformed and also some writing materials for student every year.
On the other hand,giving education at home can have some drawbacks too.First and foremost,it is consume of huge amount of parents time. Parents face the issue of whether spend time on work and gain money or stay at home and teach children. Secondly not every parent have the ability to teach because parents have not got experience on teaching skills. Furthermore, parents have studied at schools nearly 10 or more years ago and they may not remember all information even if so parents brain is not working as it used to do.It may be difficult to answer all questions .
Overall,it appears that educating child at home have more negative sides rather than positive ones.Parents had better send their children to school where qualified teachers can educate them.
 

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joker replied 1 year ago

In the third paragraph (it consumes huge amount of time)
(Not every parents has)

1 Answers
bee answered 1 year ago

It is obviously that education is crucial for children and normally students get knowledge from schools.However,parents face the dilemma whether hiv(?) own(unnecessary word) a child to school or give appropriate knowledge themselves. There would seem to be clear benefits and drawbacks of parents educating child. It is undeniably that by educating children can have many positive effects.Firstly,students who are studying will not have issue of bullying.Impact of bullying leads to degradation of psychology and to unconfidence of children.Moreover,behavior of class can influence on child’s behavior too. Youngsters may imitate bad actions from peers such as:smoking,drinking.It is all because of the peer pressure.Finally,by giving own child to school parents will not consume huge amount of money to prepare children to school.For instance; in Kazakhstan parents whose child is studying(studies) at school are buying(buy) special uniformes and also some writing materials for student every year( present simple’s signal word…and it would be more academic if you say : annualy). On the other hand,giving education at home can have some drawbacks too.First and foremost,it is consume of huge amount of parents time. Parents face the issue of whether spend time on work and gain money or stay at home and teach children. Secondly not every parent have(has) the ability to teach because parents have not got experience on teaching skills(instead these words say: because of lack experience of teaching). Furthermore, parents have studied at schools(shortly say: finished schools) nearly 10 or more years ago and they may not remember all information even if so parents brain is not working as it used to do(?).It may be difficult to answer all questions . Overall,it appears that educating child at home have(has) more negative sides rather than positive ones.Parents had better send their children to school where qualified teachers can educate them properly.
P.S.: You need to improve your grammar immediately. Unfortunately , I could not identify any unique ideas in your essay… Range of vocabulary is quite poor , try to fix it… And remember that You can do even better . I suggest you to read as many samples as possible so as to get good results. Good luck

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joker replied 1 year ago

In the third paragraph (it consumes huge amount of time)
(Not every parents has)

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