Please check my essay, your remarks are very important for me. My exam is on 18th Febuary.

QuestionsCategory: OpinionPlease check my essay, your remarks are very important for me. My exam is on 18th Febuary.
thaongh asked 4 years ago

TOPIC: Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement
Nowadays, to keep pace with the development of the world, governments should focus on improving life condition of people. There is one suggestion that they shall invest on railway rather than road. I personally agree with this idea and there are two main reasons.
Firstly, by developing the railway systems, governments could tackle the environmental problems – which has been a serious trouble in recent years. If the national railway services can meet the needs of people, there will be a huge number of passenger using train as a convenient means to travel. Therefore, a majority of personal vehicles on the roads would sharply decline, which means that the amount of emission in the air such as carbon dioxide or sulfur dioxide could be reduced. For example, according to a report of Ministry of the Environment in 2010 of Japan – the country with one of the best railway systems in the world, public transports such as bus or train did play an important role on keeping the air in big cities at levels that meet the international air quality standard.
Furthermore, it is obvious to see that the connection between urban areas and rural ones relies greatly on the railway systems. Without quality railways across the country, the transportation of goods from cities to remote areas and back again could not be productive and even be strongly damaged. Moreover, there are thousands of people working far from their home,  who return to home every day. Accordingly, the unqualified railway systems could make people switch to other way to travel to home, which would definitely put a pressure on traffic and create traffic congestion.
All in all, there is no doubt that governments should pay more attention in developing the railway systems, which could make a great impact on solving environment issue and help the transportation between countryside and cities more smoothly.      

1 Answers
Rachel Evans answered 4 years ago

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement
Nowadays, to keep pace with the development of the world, governments should focus on improving life condition of people. There is one suggestion that they shall invest on railway rather than road. I personally agree with this idea and there are two main reasons.
Firstly, by developing the railway systems, governments could tackle the environmental problems – which has have been a serious trouble (W.Choice) in recent years. If the national railway services can meet the needs of people, there will be a huge number of passengers using train as a convenient means to travel. Therefore, a majority of personal vehicles on the roads would sharply decline, which means that the amount of emission in the air such as carbon dioxide or sulfur dioxide could be reduced. For example, according to a report of Ministry of the Environment in 2010 of Japan – the country with one of the best railway systems in the world, public transports such as bus or train did play an important role on keeping the air in big cities at levels that meet the international air quality standard.
Furthermore, it is obvious to see that the connection between urban areas and rural ones relies greatly on the railway systems. Without quality railways across the country, the transportation of goods from cities to remote areas and back again could not be productive and even be strongly damaged. Moreover, there are thousands of people working far from their home, who return to home every day. (Moreover, there are thousands of people who return to home every day are working far from their home).  Accordingly, the unqualified railway systems could make people switch to other ways to travel to home, which would definitely put a pressure on traffic and create traffic congestion.
All in all, there is no doubt that governments should pay more attention in developing the railway systems, which could make a great impact on solving environment issue and help the transportation between countryside and cities more smoothly.      
TA – 8.5
CC – 8.0
LR – 7.5

  • word form, word choice errors

GRA – 8.0

  • punctuation

Overall 8.0+
 

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