Please, assess my essay and give me a band. Any comments or advices would be either appreciated!

QuestionsCategory: DicussionPlease, assess my essay and give me a band. Any comments or advices would be either appreciated!
Gleb asked 1 year ago

The topic is:
Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Here is my answer:
 
       Nowadays, in the age of the constant  development of our society, the educational sphere is also developing respectively; particularly the most significant changes are related to the higher education. It is undoubtedly, that education provided by university definitely plays the important role for both, the society generally and every student particularly, determining the future of individuals who will form the society consequently.
      According to the aforesaid, it can be stated that the educational programm of universities is very complicated issue, that should be considered from different points of view.
     On the one hand, the students’ interest is important, because the efficiency of study is significantly higher when the student is really interested in subject; furhermore, the students are frequently encouraged to attend different elective courses and additional classes. It is a fact that there should not be any obstacles to gain new knowledge. Thus, from these position, students should be allowed to study whatever they want.
    On the other hand, the foremost objective of the university is to make students obtained a certain specialty, which will be possible to apply in the  subsequent life; according to this, particular studying programmes are developed. As for the sudents’ interest, it should be expressed during the  choice of the university and faculty. Any elevties should be surely allowed for students, however, their quantity shouldbe limited to avoid the loss of time in main subjects’ studying.
    In conslusion, I want to claim that every student is adult enough to make thought out decisions, so, the chosen direction should be followed without any serious distractions.

Please, assess my essay and give me a band. Any comments or advices would be either appreciated!
3.5 (70%) 2 votes

1 Answers
Gleb answered 1 year ago

I am terribly sorry, the previous text contains several accidental mistakes, that i have made while i was retyping my essay from the exercise book , thus, they were just mistypes.
I don’t know how to edit the question or to delete something unnecessarry, it would be great if anyone help me to handle.
For now, the edited actual version is below:

      Nowadays, in the age of the constant development of our society, the educational sphere is also developing respectively; particularly the most significant changes are related to the higher education. It is undoubtedly, that education provided by university definitely plays the important role for both, the society generally and every student particularly, determining the future of individuals who will form the society consequently.
      According to the aforesaid, it can be stated that the educational programm of universities is very complicated issue that should be considered from different points of view.
     On the one hand, the students’ interest is important, because the efficiency of study is significantly higher when the student is really interested in subject; furthermore, the students are frequently encouraged to attend different elective courses and additional classes. It is a fact that there should not be any obstacles to gain new knowledge. Thus, from these position, students should be allowed to study whatever they want.
    On the other hand, the foremost objective of the university is to make students obtained a certain specialty, which will be possible to apply in the subsequent life; according to this, particular studying programmes are developed. As for the students’ interest, it should be expressed during the choice of the university and faculty. Any electives should be surely allowed for students, however, their quantity should be limited to avoid the loss of time in main subjects’ studying.
    In conclusion, I want to claim that every student is adult enough to make thought out decisions, so, the chosen direction should be followed without any serious distractions.

Please, assess my essay and give me a band. Any comments or advices would be either appreciated!
3.5 (70%) 2 votes

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