Nowadays, young people leave home at an early age to either study or work in another city. Do you think this has more advantages than disadvantages for young people?

QuestionsNowadays, young people leave home at an early age to either study or work in another city. Do you think this has more advantages than disadvantages for young people?
nguyenlykimngan asked 4 months ago

It is common that teenagers tend to choose an independent life in a different urban area when they work or study. I believe that the benefits of moving out in order not to rely on other people outweigh the drawbacks.
There are several problems that people who live far from home may struggle with while they face with real life. They have to make a living and handle all their daily work  without help from members of family and some find it hard to make their ends meet. For example, when a young person is interested in living on his own, he has to pay bills of water, electronic or medicine. Besides, he will be responsible for financial burden which is stressful for him to manage while studying or working and increases more concerns. Furthermore, young people could not be supported by their family if they suffered from failure, resulting in the deficiency of cheerful emotions which can make them keep hoping. 
In spite of the arguments above, I believe that if they have a chance, they should challenge themselves. In my opinion, living independently in the real world could bring back a plenty of advantages which are keys for their bright future. Firstly, people could learn how to manage the bills and fend for themselves in order to help close the gap between earning and spending money efficiently. Secondly, living in a different city would make them independent from their loved ones and as a result, they will be mature. Finally, instead of being nervous when facing troubles, they will tend to be calm and solve the problems properly because they have learned essential skills during their life.
In conclusion, although it might seem challenging to live in another city without relying on the others while working and studying, I believe that they can learn necessary skills and knowledge to prepare carefully for life.

Nowadays, young people leave home at an early age to either study or work in another city. Do you think this has more advantages than disadvantages for young people?
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Rachel Evans replied 2 months ago

Furthermore, young people could not be supported by their family if they suffered from failure, resulting in the deficiency of cheerful emotions which can make them keep hoping. – maybe you should replace the expression [which can make them keep hoping] ’cause it sounds not natural/

1 Answers
Rachel Evans answered 2 months ago

nguyenlykimngan,

  • there’s clear development and position in the essay with relevant ideas.
  • if you want to present the setbacks first to highlight the main points, make sure you have it weak in reasoning or else, the second part of the arguement would be blurred out. In this essay, the first arguement seems to be stronger than the second one as those supporting ideas for the latter were ill.

  • Overall ~ 65

Nowadays, young people leave home at an early age to either study or work in another city. Do you think this has more advantages than disadvantages for young people?
Rate this post

Rachel Evans replied 2 months ago

Furthermore, young people could not be supported by their family if they suffered from failure, resulting in the deficiency of cheerful emotions which can make them keep hoping. – maybe you should replace the expression [which can make them keep hoping] ’cause it sounds not natural/

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