Which score I get for this IELTS Writing Task 2 Topic?
Nowadays, Internet usage has proliferated in all walks of our lives. Moreover, there is growing trend of searching potential partner or friend through internet. It is agreed that meeting a stranger through internet for the first time may have disastrous consequences. In this essay I will be presenting issues associated with this before drawing a reasoned conclusion.
Admittedly, it is irrefutable that identity disclosed virtually may be incorrect. There were numerous incidents where people portraits their wrong personalities or fake identities to chat online. Sometimes a guy poses to be a girl or a girl who is unattractive uses fake photos of celebrities to lure opposite sex. I remember an instance which happened recently in New Delhi where a woman in her forties posed to be a 20 year girl and invited males to her house; when they reached her place she blackmailed them saying they had intimate physical relation with her and would file case against them. Thus, it depicts that how dangerous it can be meeting unknown people through cyber world.
Secondly, it is hard to determine the seriousness of relationship on internet. Probably, people show that they are loyal in relationship but actually they are having relation just for fun, enjoyment and time-pass. Eventually, this may lead some people in mental traumas or with broken heart. Hence, this is another probable disadvantage of hooking somebody through world wide web.
In the light of aforementioned disadvantages, I would like to recapitulate that it is conspicuous that meeting someone via internet is not a good idea and should be avoided as far as possible
It has a sound structure, your position is clearly expressed, the information is well-organized, and structure-wise the sentences are fine. The vocabulary is impressive and there only were a few grammatical errors (see comments underlined in blue). Overall, looks like a band 7.5 essay.
Sometimes miss article (a/an/the):
Moreover, there is [a] growing trend of [–>in] searching potential partner(s) or friend(s) through [the] internet.
Use more advanced vocabulary:
have disastrous consequences ==> lead to catastrophic/adverse consequences
as far as possible ==> to the greatest extent
Please login or Register to submit your answer