Kindly evaluate my writing task_2. Thanks in advance.

QuestionsCategory: Writing Task 2Kindly evaluate my writing task_2. Thanks in advance.
livermore asked 1 month ago

Topic: What do you think is it important to preserve local languages and dialects?
In the distant the past mankind respected own national language and they retained it since language and dialects are essential part of our culture and it represents cultural and historical backgrounds. Therefore language and dialect are incredibly necessary for human beings as air and water. Thus, it is vitally important to preserve local language and dialects.
To begin with, local language and dialects are face of all nations since it is unique heritage which we inherited from our ancestors. In actual fact, national language and dialect play principal role in our social life, because it signifies existence of country. Besides, it is irrefutable fact diverse dialects are major factors which enrich language. For instance, Uzbek people can express own sentences on various forms of local dialects since they have sufficient dialects. Undoubtedly, language and dialects depend on each other, thus each nation attempts to keep them.
Nonetheless, these days preservation of language becomes urgent issue in the globe since certain languages become extinct day by day due to appearance of  “dominant group“ among the languages. Actually, what is “dominant group“ and how is it arisen? Namely, above mentioned group consists several languages that widely used for global communication such as English, Spanish, French, German and Russian. In other words, this allows individuals to keep in touch with each other on international conversations, debates and meetings. Therefore, nowadays people are learning international languages for educational and commercial purposes. As a result, everybody has a good command of global languages. Despite the fact, “dominant group“ is eroded national languages, in consequence people are not able to speak fluently in their local language. In this case, world population should protect own national languages.
By way of conclusion, it is important for us  to preserve local language and dialects. Thus, we should maintain it until the end of our life in order to pass national language to new generations.  

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livermore replied 1 month ago

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2 Answers
Nam Phuong answered 1 month ago

Topic: What do you think is it important to preserve local languages and dialects?
In the distant the past mankind respected (used to respect) own (their own) national language and they retained (retain) it since (local) language and dialects are essential part of our culture and it represents (, representing) cultural and historical backgrounds. Therefore language and dialect are incredibly necessary for human beings as air and water. Thus, it is vitally important to preserve local language and dialects.
To begin with, local language and dialects are face (faces) of all nations since it is (they are) unique heritage(s) which we inherited from our ancestors. In actual fact, national language and dialect play(s) principal role in our social life, because it signifies existence of country. Besides, it is irrefutable fact (that) diverse dialects are major factors which enrich language. For instance, Uzbek people can express own sentences on various forms of local dialects since they have sufficient dialects. Undoubtedly, language and dialects depend on each other, thus each nation attempts to keep them.
Nonetheless, these days preservation of language becomes urgent issue in (all over/ on) the globe since certain languages become extinct day by day due to appearance of  “dominant group“ among the languages. Actually, what is “dominant group“ and how is it arisen? Namely, above mentioned group consists several languages that widely used for global communication such as English, Spanish, French, German and Russian. In other words, this allows individuals to keep in touch with each other on international conversations, debates and meetings. Therefore, nowadays people are learning international languages for educational and commercial purposes. As a result, everybody has a good command of global languages. Despite the fact, “dominant group“ is eroded national languages, in consequence people are not able to speak fluently in their local language. In this case, world population should protect own national languages.
By way of conclusion, it is important for us  to preserve local language and dialects. Thus, we should maintain it until the end of our life in order to pass national language to new generations.

T.R: 6.5

  • address all parts of the tasks but ideas should be put into a more convincing way. (1st paragraph has many minor ideas but are not grouped into a big ideas, 2nd paragraph express a good big idea, which make 2 paragraph seems imbalanced.)

C.C: 6.0

  • arrange ideas quite coherently

L.R: 6.5

  • use adequate range of vocabulary

G.A: 6.0

  • should use more complex structure
  • pay attention to minor grammatical mistakes.

Overall: 6.5

You should try more to boost the score.

 

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livermore replied 1 month ago

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livermore replied 1 month ago

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livermore replied 1 month ago

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livermore replied 1 month ago

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Rachel answered 1 month ago

Do you think it is important to preserve local languages and dialects?
In the distant the past mankind respected own national language and they retained it since language and dialects are essential parts of our culture and it represents they represent cultural and historical backgrounds. Therefore language and dialect are incredibly necessary for human beings as air and water. (!!) Thus, it is vitally important (it is vital to preserve…) to preserve local language and dialects.
To begin with, local language and dialects are the faces of all nations since it is unique heritage, which we inherited from our ancestors. In actual fact, national language and dialects play principal role in our social life, because it signifies existence of country. Besides, it is irrefutable fact diverse dialects are major factors which enrich language. For instance, Uzbek people can express own sentences on various forms of local dialects since they have sufficient dialects. Undoubtedly, language and dialects depend on each other, thus each nation attempts to keep them.
Nonetheless, these days preservation of language becomes urgent issue in the globe since certain languages become extinct day by day due to appearance of “dominant group“among the languages. Actually, what is “dominant group“and how is it arisen? Namely, above mentioned group consists several languages that widely used for global communication such as English, Spanish, French, German and Russian. In other words, this (what does this refer to?) allows individuals to keep in touch with each other on international conversations, debates and meetings. Therefore, nowadays people are learning international languages for educational and commercial purposes. As a result, everybody has a good command of global languages. Despite the fact, “dominant group “is eroded (GR.error) national languages, in consequence people are not able to speak fluently in their local language. In this case, world population should protect own national languages.
By way of conclusion, it is important for us to preserve local language and dialects. Thus, we should maintain it until the end of our life in order to pass national language to new generations.  
TA – 6.0

  • address the task with weak support

CC – 5.5

  • connections between paragraphs may be loose. The 2 main paragraphs do not sufficiently address the ideas proposed in introduction part

LR – 6.5

  • should avoid personal pronouns (we…)

GRA – 6.0
Overall 6.0

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livermore replied 1 month ago

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livermore replied 1 month ago

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livermore replied 1 month ago

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livermore replied 1 month ago

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