Kindly evaluate my writing task_2. Thanks in advance.

QuestionsCategory: Writing Task 2Kindly evaluate my writing task_2. Thanks in advance.
livermore asked 3 years ago

Topic: Do you think that people should have the right to have a gun in their houses?
It is irrefutable fact that invention of weapons is great achievement for humankind if they accurately utilize  from it. Actually, in earlier times, arms widely used for wars  and it did not exist everywhere since only some categories of individuals had weapons such as soldiers, warriors and so on. Unlike the past centuries, nowadays multitude of people have guns and they retain it at their home by reason of security purposes.
In this era of globalization, conception of peace is vitally important since these days various wars are being occurred on the several parts of the globe. Thus, certain governments permit their citizens to own guns in their houses. In this case, it is true for people have the right to resist or injure delinquents with guns under the above mentioned circumstance.
On the other hand, some unaware people especially juveniles and children may misuse the guns if everyone allows to have arms in their home. Admittedly, young people who have a strong curiosity to use arms for entertainment. The main evidence to prove the outlined above point is recently one Indian teenager had tragically perished due to weapon. Namely, he intended to do selfie with real pistol while he accidently pushed trigger instead of button of camera.
Further and even more importantly, indifference of parents may entail vast amount of awful situations that happen with them. To illustrate, if parents save guns near the their children, they may jeopardize their children’s lives. Hence majority of children think the arms as a toy which shown in cartoons and TV broadcasts and at the same time, they may attempt to shoot innocent people.
To sum up, from my prospective that government should prohibit their citizens to possess guns in their house in order to provide security.

livermore replied 3 years ago

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livermore replied 3 years ago

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livermore replied 3 years ago

please check this essay…

livermore replied 3 years ago

please check it!

1 Answers
Nam Phuong answered 3 years ago

Topic: Do you think that people should have the right to have a gun in their houses?
It is irrefutable fact that invention of weapons is great achievement for humankind if they accurately utilize  from it. Actually, in earlier times, arms (were) widely used for wars  and it did not exist everywhere since only some categories (Groups) of individuals had weapons such as soldiers, warriors and so on. Unlike the past centuries, nowadays multitude of people have guns and they retain it (them) at their home by (for the) reason of security purposes.
In this era of globalization, conception of peace is vitally important since these days various wars are being occurred on the several parts of the globe. Thus, certain governments permit their citizens to own guns in their houses. In this case, it is true for people have the right to resist or injure delinquents with guns under the above mentioned circumstance.
On the other hand, some unaware people especially juveniles and children may misuse the guns if everyone allows (are allowed) to have arms in their home. Admittedly, young people who have a strong curiosity to use arms for entertainment. The main evidence to prove the outlined above point is recently one Indian teenager had tragically perished due to weapon. Namely, he intended to do selfie with real pistol while he accidently (accidentally) pushed trigger instead of button of camera (camera button).
Further and even more importantly, indifference of parents may entail vast amount of awful situations that happen with (to) them. To illustrate, if parents save guns near the their children, they may jeopardize their children’s lives. Hence majority of children think the arms as a toy which (are) shown in cartoons and TV broadcasts and at the same time, they may attempt to shoot innocent people.
To sum up, from my prospective that government should prohibit their citizens to possess guns in their house in order to provide security.

T.R: 7.0

  • sufficient address all parts of the task

C.C: 7.0

  • logically organize ideas and information

L.R: 7.5

  • use adequate range of vocabulary

G.A: 6.5

  • some grammatical errors.

Overall: 7.0

Keep it up!

livermore replied 3 years ago

.

livermore replied 3 years ago

.

livermore replied 3 years ago

please check this essay…

livermore replied 3 years ago

please check it!

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