In some contries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between fnishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

QuestionsCategory: Writing Task 2In some contries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between fnishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Hoàng Huy asked 3 years ago

Hi,
Here are my essay. Would you please help me to correct this?
Many thanks.
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It is common that young people nowadays take gap year to travel or to work in order to gain experience before entering the university. I personally think that this trend seems interesting but, to some extent, it may interrupt your study path creating many difficulties.
Despite bringing the taste of the youth to teenagers, taking one-year break probably erases all of their basic knowledge learned from high school. In some circumstances, many general subjects require primary concepts taught in high school. Hence, a year without practicing or learning these things would likely result in losing knowledge as well as worsening related abilities. What’s more, the long break tends to make people feel lazier. They find it completely dull to spend a whole day sitting in the classroom to listen to the lecturer or doing the experiments in the laboratory. As a result, they are not capable of following the curriculum which may lead them to quit their study.
In contrary, there are some benefits from taking a gap year to work or travel. It provides young generation with great opportunities to broaden their horizons, to meet interesting people from different places. It must be useful experiences for them in the future. However, companies and organizations mostly pay their attention to the academic qualifications that the candidates got.
In conclusion, young people should choose to go straight into the university rather than taking a year off due to the continuity of the study. Working and studying simultaneously and then travelling in the summer are a better to do not waste their youths.

1 Answers
Nam Phuong answered 3 years ago

It is common that young people nowadays take gap year to travel or to work in order to gain experience before entering the university. I personally think that this trend seems interesting but, to some extent, it may interrupt your study path , creating many difficulties.
Despite bringing the taste of the youth to teenagers, taking one-year break probably erases all of their basic knowledge learned from high school. In some circumstances, many general subjects require primary concepts taught in high school. Hence, a year without practicing or learning these things would likely result in losing knowledge as well as worsening related abilities. What’s more, the long break tends to make people feel lazier. They find it completely dull to spend a whole day sitting in the classroom to listen to the lecturer or doing the experiments in the laboratory. As a result, they are not capable of following the curriculum which may lead them to quit their study.
In contrary, there are some benefits from taking a gap year to work or travel. It provides young generation with great opportunities to broaden their horizons, to meet interesting people from different places. It must be useful experiences for them in the future. However, companies and organizations mostly pay their attention to the academic qualifications that the candidates got. (it would be better if you added some results from the fact that companies and organization mostly pay attention to academic qualifications…)
In conclusion, young people should choose to go straight into the university rather than taking a year off due to the continuity of the study. Working and studying simultaneously and then travelling in the summer are a better to do not waste their youths.

T.R: 8.0

  • address well all parts of the task

C.C: 8.0

  • clear progression throughout.

L.R: 7.5

  • some more academic words would be preferred

G.A: 8.0

  • use a mix of simple and complex structure.

Overall: 8.0

Great job!

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