In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responisibility. iscuss both these views an give your opinion.

QuestionsCategory: DicussionIn many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responisibility. iscuss both these views an give your opinion.
Huynh Hoa asked 11 months ago

 People have different views over the pressing matter whether children are old enough to be engaged in some kind of paid work. Some express that children are too young to work while the others value it as precious opportunities for children to socialize with the outside world. Both these views and my own opinion are here to stay during the scope of my essay.
On the one hand, opponents of children’s involvement in real paid work argue it for several reasons. First and foremost, parents are afraid that their children will be taken advantage. As workers, children will be required to conduct a myriad of unsuitably heavy work without any deserved perks or income. In addition, in case children are accustomed to the real working environment at very early age, they will have a greater preference for earning a living to studying. Children may find satisfaction of earning money by themselves and obtaining whatever they desire without being dependent on parents. As a result, children may quit school to seek for jobs. raising an alarmingly worrisome issue in the modern society.
On the other hand, there are more convincing arguments by enthusiasts of children’s familiarity with the environment of working. To begin with, children are believed to be fully aware of the true value of money. In other words, they may learn during the working process that money is obtained along with hard work, sweat and even tears; therefore, a valuable lesson of how to spend money wisely may then be accumulated. Moreover, when it comes to working experience, children may be allowed to get close access to real environment where theoretical lessons can be put into practice. It would not be until children experience a real clay making process that they can be acknowledged all the skills of how to make a beautiful tea pot, for example. Last but not least, a sense of responsibility may be gained during the internship period. Once they get themselves involved in a work, they should devote wholeheartedly and try their best to achieve a flow of targeted achievements.
All in all, despite some arguments, I strongly believe that engaging children in some kind of paid work should not be taken for granted but well motivated. If so, children will by themselves cultivate their knowledge with valuable lessons and experience.

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responisibility. iscuss both these views an give your opinion.
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1 Answers
Thuy Dung Pham answered 10 months ago

People have different views over about the pressing matter whether children are old enough to be/get engaged involved in some kind of paid work. Some express that children are too young to work while the others value it as precious opportunities for children to socialize with the outside world. Both these views and my own opinion are here to stay shall be discussed during the scope of my in the following essay.
On the one hand, opponents of children’s involvement in real paid work argue it for several reasons. First and foremost, parents are afraid that their children will be taken advantage. As workers, children will be required to conduct a myriad of unsuitably heavy work without any deserved perks or income. In addition, in case children are accustomed to the real working environment at very early age, they would have a greater preference for earning a living to studying. Children may find satisfaction of earning money by themselves and obtaining whatever they(non-academic)-> their desire without being depending on parents. As a result, children may quit school to seek for jobs. raising an alarmingly worrisome issue in the modern society.
On the other hand, there are more convincing arguments by enthusiasts of children’s familiarity with the environment of working. To begin with, children are believed to be fully aware of the true value of money. In other words, they may learn during the working process that money is obtained along with hard work, sweat and even tears; therefore, a valuable lesson of how to spend money wisely may then be accumulated. Moreover, when it comes to working experience, children may be allowed to get close access to real environment where theoretical lessons can be put into practice. It would not be until children experience a real clay making process that they can be acknowledged all the skills of how to make a beautiful tea pot, for example. Last but not least, a sense of responsibility may be gained during the internship period. Once they get themselves involved in a work, they should devote wholeheartedly and try their best to achieve a flow of targeted achievements.
All in all -> Overall, despite some arguments, I strongly (non-academic) believe that engaging children in some kind of paid work should not be taken for granted but well motivated. If so, children will by themselves cultivate their knowledge with valuable lessons and experience.
Feedback
Task achievement: 6.5 (ideas are very informative and well-developed, strong and supportive evidence, but TOO LONG!!! (398 words are way out of range for task 2)
Coherence and cohesion: 7.5 (good flow, good control)
Lexical Resource: 7.5 (advanced vocabs are used fluently, flexibly and appropriately, no spelling mistakes, take note on non-academic words)
Grammar Range and Accuracy: 7.5 (good maintenance of complex structures, no grammar mistakes)
Overall: 7.0 (though it’s an excellent essay, you should be careful with the time frame!!!)

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responisibility. iscuss both these views an give your opinion.
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