IELTS task 1, 16th, May, 2016 cement and concrete

QuestionsCategory: MapsIELTS task 1, 16th, May, 2016 cement and concrete
admin asked 12 months ago


The diagram below shows the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.
(Thank for your help)

The provided maps illustrate the process of producing cement and the usage of concrete for construction.
Overall, it is clearly presented that the cement production is more complicated and advanced than the stage of concrete. In addition, heat is not utilized in the concrete production but the role of heat plays a great effect on manufacturing cement.

To begin with, in the first diagram, it can be seen that limestone and clay are mixed and crushed to form the powder. Then, this two substances are moved on the mixer before applied into the rotating heater in order to heat with constant times and this creates the natural cement. In the end of this process, this material is provided to the grinder to produce cement and was then delivered on the bags for sell.

On the other hand, the second diagram shows that cement can be used to manufacture concrete in one step, it is simpler than the stage in the cement making process. Concrete is a mixture of cement, water, sand and gravel, which is meant small tones, with precisely proportion in turns 15%, 10%, 25% and 50 % respectively to deliver into concrete mixer.

IELTS task 1, 16th, May, 2016 cement and concrete
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1 Answers
admin answered 12 months ago

To achieve Band 9.0 for Writing Task 1, your answer has to meet the following criteria:
Lexical Resource:
Uses a wide range of vocabulary with very natural and sophisticated control of lexical features.
Rare minor errors occur only as ‘slips’.
Task Achievement: 
Fully satisfies all the requirements of the task.
Clearly presents a fully developed response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy:
Uses a wide range of structures with full flexibility and accuracy.
Rare minor errors occur only as ‘slips’.
Coherence and Cohesion:
Uses cohesion in such a way that it attracts no attention.
Skillfully manages paragraphing.
Here are your scores for each criterion:
Task Achievement: 5.5
Coherence & Cohesion: 5.5
Lexical Resource: 6.0
Grammar Range and Accuracy: 5.5
==> Overall Band Score: 5.5
The first paragraph acts as an introduction/overview of your answer. It should contain key features of both diagrams and also highlights the connection between them. So the sentence “and these cement are used in the process of making concrete by adding water, gravel and sand” shouldn’t be added in this paragraph.

  • Use more good vocabulary for the introduction part:

The given/supplied/presented/shown diagram
+shows/represents/depicts/compares/indicates/gives data on/ outlines
+the differences/the number of/the comparison of/the proportion of….

  • For general overview, you can use the following vocabulary:

In general, In common, As a general Trend, Overall, As is presented..

  • You should use more time connectors / conjunction like:
    In the first stage of….
    To begin.., then
    Following this,..
    In the subsequent stage,…/ Subsequently,….
    …,followed by… 
    After that,…
    Finally,…

     
  • Need more accurate complex sentences, collocations, well-used vocabulary.

IELTS task 1, 16th, May, 2016 cement and concrete
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