I need to know my band score for this Writing Task 2. please give some feedback. Thank u so much.

QuestionsCategory: OpinionI need to know my band score for this Writing Task 2. please give some feedback. Thank u so much.
Diablo asked 5 months ago

DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PROFESSIONAL ATHLETES MAKE GOOD ROLE MODELS FOR YOUNG PEOPLE. SUPPORT YOUR OPINION WITH REASONS AND EXAMPLES FROM YOUR OWN KLNOWLEDGE OR EXPERIENCE.
Sport  has always been a very important aspect in humans` life for a long time from the first Olympic Games in antic Greece to \”World Cup\”s of the modern world. For my opinion, its necessity comes from benefits to the health, and also popular athletes` inspiring stories. Therefore, people both enjoy and make money in sports, which makes it be in the middle of attention.
From my point of view, expert sportsmen make good role model for young people. As they are celebrity and in the center of attention, they can invite talented ones to go in for sports. 2 or more years ago, my little brother decided to play football in town`s team after watching El Classico on the TV.
However, it seems to me that the most essential aspect of sports and athletes` role in our life is inspiring stories of successful players which make disabled people believe in themselves and take part in various competitions. This creates other inspiring stories of other people and their success. As my government is interested in sports, they persuade paralympic athletes to keep their career. It is not only for governmental benefits, but also it is quite helpful to the amateur players. For instance, a visually disabled man, called Ilham Zakiyev took part in the Baku 2015 European games and qualified for the golden medal. After his victory, the impaired athletes of our country came back from Rio with medals and success.
In conclusion, I do believe the statement and I think it is absolutely important for a country to have athletes and sportsmen who lead the youth to the new and healthy future which is full of achievements.

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