I have an exam on 17th december. Could you please score?

QuestionsI have an exam on 17th december. Could you please score?
Tarik asked 4 years ago

İn many modern societies, grandchildren rarely spend any quality time of their grandparents.
What do you think are the consequences of this?
 
İt is true that there is a strong tendency among parents on enrolling  their children to preschool organizations instead of leaving them to their grandparents, which creates an amazing different on the perceptions of life between them.
 
 Granparents are, in my opinion,  great narrators of history of one’s country which therefore make them a natural trasmitter of culture, of worthy knowledges from generation to generations. For example, it is perfectly known that, apart from some academic works, mythologies of a country are conveyed by grandparents to their grandchildren, which causes the eternity of cultural stories as well as which improves children’s creativity. I think, being deprived of cultural stories which signify our history in all respect woud be the biggest loss.
 
Additionally, grandparents are experienced on bringing up child psychologically as well as physically. İn some cases, it is witnessed that their alternative medicine knowledge outweighed of doctors’ suggestions. For example, in modern societies, parents immediately apply to antibiotics for their babies which are perfectly known  to be harmful for a baby’s body, instead of trying to utilize from grandparents’ empirical knowledge. Furthermore, it can even said that, in our century some parents  do not know how to wash a newborn baby which oftenly causes babies to fever, which bring about some injures in some cases. Lasty, their abstence could cause the loss of informations of healtier foods, in fact, which created our century’s disease, the obesity.
 
İn conclusion, I believe, the fact that granparents do not play an active role in a society could cause a broad range of problems, from dearth of mythologic and traditional stories, to unhealty individuals as well as some practical methods for living.

1 Answers
Rachel Evans answered 4 years ago

In many modern societies, grandchildren rarely spend any quality time of their grandparents.
What do you think are the consequences of this?
 
It is true that there is a strong tendency among parents on enrolling their children to preschool organizations instead of leaving them to their grandparents, which creates an amazing different on the perceptions of life between them.
 
Grandparents are, in my opinion, great narrators of history of one’s country which therefore make them a natural transmitter of culture, of worthy knowledges from generation to generations. For example, it is perfectly known that, apart from some academic works, mythologies of a country are conveyed by grandparents to their grandchildren, which causes the eternity of cultural stories as well as which (repetitive) improves children’s creativity. I think, being deprived of cultural stories which signify our history in all respect woud be the biggest loss.
 
Additionally, grandparents are experienced on bringing up child psychologically as well as physically. In some cases, it is witnessed that their alternative medicine knowledge outweighed of doctors’ suggestions. For example, in modern societies, parents immediately apply to antibiotics for their babies which are perfectly known to be harmful for a baby’s body, instead of trying to utilize from grandparents’ empirical knowledge. Furthermore, it can even said that, in our century some parents  do not know how to wash (bath…) a newborn baby which oftenly causes babies to fever, which bring about some injures in some cases. Lastly, their abstence absence could cause the loss of informations of healthier foods, in fact, which created our century’s disease, the obesity.
 
In conclusion, I believe, the fact that grandparents do not play an active role in a society could cause a broad range of problems, from dearth of mythologic and traditional stories, to unhealthy individuals as well as some practical methods for living.
Overall – 6.5
Task achievement – 7.0

  • address all parts of the task
  • present a clear position throughout

Cohesion and Coherence – 6.5

  • arrange information logically

Lexical resource – 6.5

  • attempt to use less common lexical units
  • make some errors in spelling
  • repetitive

Grammatical range and accuracy – 6.5

  • use limited range of grammatical structures
  • punctuation may be faulty but it does not reduce communication

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