I have a ielts exam soon, could you please assess my essay?

QuestionsCategory: Advantage/DisadvantageI have a ielts exam soon, could you please assess my essay?
HANISH KANDA asked 4 months ago

Q. IN SOME COUNTRIES, YOUNG PEOPLE ARE ENCOURAGED TO WORK OR TRAVEL FOR A YEAR BETWEEN FINISHING HIGH SCHOOL AND STARTING UNIVERSITY STUDIES. DISCUSS THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES FOR YOUNG PEOPLE WHO DECIDE TO DO THIS.
ANSWER:
 

Education is the most important part of human life. Its system is divided into stages, where schools provide the basic knowledge and universities give higher education. The students are usually encouraged to travel or have some work experience after finishing their school.  In my opinion, the people who opt for working or traveling face both advantages and disadvantages.
 

To begin with, the time before starting university education is very critical as it is the time when they are free of restrictions and they can use it for doing things of their own choice. The young people can explore the world by traveling across the globe. They gain a lot of knowledge and experience by interacting with people of various cultures. Therefore, they come out to be more active and have developed required skills like that of communication. Moreover, taking part in internships and work make them aware about the idea of further education, so that they become adaptive. In this way, it helps them to get ready for the university education.
 

Ironically, going on trips and doing work during the period of time before the commencement of higher education, sometimes break the link between studies as students usually forget the important and difficult facts after exams because they do not recall them during that free time. Consequently, the students become non-serious. Apart from this, many young people find working more suitable as they start making money. So, such people skip the idea of further studies, that is really a big disadvantage.
 

On summarizing, working or going on tours after completing school is beneficial but to some extent. The pupils learn many new things and enjoy this time, but this usually takes them far from their studies, breaking their connection. Hence, traveling or doing work in that time have advantages as well as disadvantages. 

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