hi! it's me again :D my test date is coming so I hope you can correct this one for me. I haven;t had enough practice on this kind of question so it might not be as good as the last one I sent!

Questionshi! it's me again :D my test date is coming so I hope you can correct this one for me. I haven;t had enough practice on this kind of question so it might not be as good as the last one I sent!
Trần Nguyễn Phương Minh asked 4 months ago

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others think that people cannot expect to enjoy a job and having a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Career choice is the decision of a lifetime. Therefore, everyone should consider the values that the job offers. While some people think job satisfaction is of great importance, others opt for job security. These are both valid opinions and I will discuss them now.
On the one hand, job security undoubtedly ensures a substantial income, which is of utmost priority to a majority of people. As to those who are financially challenged, making a living is so vital that it overshadows the gratification a job may bring. This means that no matter harsh the working environment might be, they are still willing to take up the job. In addition, some people have the tendency to avoid changes and utterly yearn for stability in their career. This may be a mere personal preference, yet proved to have an influence on job selection.
On the other hand, it is irrefutable that job satisfaction guarantees work efficiency. When you enjoy handling your job, you will work with more enthusiasm, passion and readiness to deal with problems and challenges thrown at you. Moreover, if you are to tackle tedious tasks that do not appeal to you at all, stress may follow. It is also worth bearing in mind that mental health should be nurtured with care. Thus, it is advisable that you avoid stressful situations in order to lead a healthy life. In some cases, people claim that jumping from jobs to jobs barely affects them, since the pleasure they take in doing their work is enough to make up for any other problems such as job security.
In conclusion, my own feeling is that it is wiser to pick the job that meets your need for joy, as the positive effect it has on your work performance and mental health outweighs the negatives. Of course, this is provided that the chosen job provides a decent salary to help you afford the basic needs.

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1 Answers
Thuy Dung Pham answered 3 months ago

Career choice is the decision of a lifetime. Therefore, everyone should consider the values that the job offers. While some people think job satisfaction is of greatly important importance, others opt (do not write shorthand in an academic essay) for job security. These are both valid opinions and I will discuss them now.
On the one hand, job security undoubtedly ensures a substantial income, which is of utmost priority to a majority of people. As to those who are financially challenged, making a living is so vital that it overshadows the gratification a job may bring. This means that no matter harsh the working environment might be, they are still willing to take up the job. In addition, some people have the tendency to avoid changes and utterly yearn for stability in their career. This may be a mere personal preference, yet proved to have an influence on job selection.
On the other hand, it is irrefutable that job satisfaction guarantees work efficiency. When you enjoy handling your job, you will work with more enthusiasm, passion and readiness to deal with problems and challenges thrown at you. Moreover, if you are to tackle tedious tasks that do not appeal to you at all, stress may follow. It is also worth bearing in mind that mental health should be nurtured with care. Thus, it is advisable that you avoid stressful situations in order to lead a healthy life. In some cases, people claim that jumping from jobs to jobs barely affects them, since the pleasure they take in doing their work is enough to make up for any other problems such as job security.
In conclusion, my own feeling is that it is wiser to pick the job that meets your need for joy, as the positive effect it has on your work performance and mental health outweighs the negatives. Of course, this is provided that the chosen job provides a decent salary to help you afford the basic needs.
Task achievement: 5.5 (addresses all parts of the task, presents an overview with information appropriately selected)
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5 (arranges information and ideas coherently and there is a clear overall progression)
Lexical Resource: 5.0 (uses a limited range of vocabulary, has many repetitive words)
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5.0(uses a mix of simple and complex sentences but only a limited range of structures)
Overall: 5.5 (Overall, you understand the instruction but this task needs to be improved by giving more relevant examples, by connecting ideas logically, and by using more less common vocabulary.)
 
 

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