Hi, Im going to take the real IELTS test next week, so could you please check and score this essay for me? Thank you very much!

QuestionsCategory: Writing Task 1Hi, Im going to take the real IELTS test next week, so could you please check and score this essay for me? Thank you very much!
livermore asked 4 years ago


The subject of the graph compares the 4 type of transport usage rates in Europen city in three different years: 1960, 1980 and 2000.
It clearly seen that graph consist 4 kinds of vehicle : train, car, tube and bus.
The graph observed that in first year majority of people used to go to work by bus (nearly 40 percent) The second largerst percentage belonged to tube (approximately 28 percent) while car percentage is lower 8 % than tube. In that period commuters rarely used from car(over the 7%) After 20 years, these results varied moderately. The four mode of transport dates were almost the same percentage. (28%, 26%, 22% and 21%  in accordance) In 1980 bus percentage decreased to about 12% than 1960. On contrary,people usage figures by car uplifted speedily to 15%. By comparision in 2000, big part of commuters preffered to go to work by car were as tube and train rates very similar to each other. The former is higher a bit than latter. Navertheless, bus usage rates fell markedly to obtain 15%.
Overall, in three periods 4 types of vehicle usage figures changed quickly.
(194)

1 Answers
Thuy Dung Pham answered 4 years ago

The subject of the graph->The following graph aims to compares the usage rate of 4 types of transport in European city in three different years: 1960, 1980 and 2000.
It can be clearly seen that graph consists 4 kinds of vehicle : train, car, tube and bus. The graph observed that During first year, a majority of people used to go to work by bus (nearly 40 percent). Tube accounted for the second largerst percentage with approximately 28 percent while that of car is lower 8 % lower. In that period Commuters are least rarely used from car with only over the 7% passengers. After 20 years, the result varied moderately. The four modes of transport dates were achieved almost the same rate of usage. (28%, 26%, 22% and 21%  in accordance). However, bus percentage decreased to about 12% than 1960. On the contrary, the number of people travelling by car uplifted speedily to 15%. By In comparision in to 2000, the number of commuter-travellers were roughly similar to that of car, tube and train. The former is higher a bit than latter. Navertheless->Nevertheless, bus usage rates fell remarkably to obtain 15%.
Overall, the preference of 4 means of transportation changed quickly rapidly in three time periods.
(194)
Feedback
Task achievement: 6.0 (overall ideas were clearly stated and key features are highlighted)
Coherence and cohesion: 6.0 (well-organized, compere-and-contrast are included)
Lexical resource: 6.5 (adequate range, mis-spell some words)
Grammar Range and Accuracy: 6.0 (unexpected errors in grammar, sentence structures are acceptable, not complex enough)
Overall:  6.0 (Nice try:D, take note to unexpected grammar mistakes and try to include more complex structure and vocab)

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