Hi, if i may ask kindly to get an assesment and a score to my essay… I really wonder if I can score a 7 on academic.

QuestionsCategory: Advantage/DisadvantageHi, if i may ask kindly to get an assesment and a score to my essay… I really wonder if I can score a 7 on academic.
martha_my_dear asked 2 years ago

People can live and work anywhere they want to choose because of improved communication technology and transport. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Due to better –quality communication technology and transportation, people can live and work wherever they like to do so. I believe that, experiencing new cultures, better carrier opportunities and developing better communication skills are some of the upsides of living and working overseas. However, there are some downsides of relocating as well.
Firstly, taking a job abroad and moving to a new country gives an invaluable opportunity to experience a new culture. Many people consider this as a useful experience in terms of personal development which widens one’s horizon. Secondly, living and working abroad might give better opportunities for future career as a resume spiced up with an international job experience would be a preferred choice for many future employers. Thirdly, international working experience might lead to developing unique communication skills. Working with people from different countries makes a person inevitably more sensible to cultures and different ways of communicating.
However, there are some issues that one can experience to be not that pleasant and difficult to go through. Working and living away from your country is usually connected with a feeling of loneliness and no stability in life as one might be away from one’s family and close friends. Even though, new culture is an enriching experience, it comes with learning the language and in many cases it should be done in a very short span. Learning new culture could be challenging and time one has to adapt might be filled with unpleasant surprises and awkward situations.
In conclusion, even though working and living away in a different country is a positive experience, issues such as feeling of loneliness and difficulties with a new language and culture may occur.

Hi, if i may ask kindly to get an assesment and a score to my essay… I really wonder if I can score a 7 on academic.
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1 Answers
Nam Phuong answered 2 years ago

People can live and work anywhere they want to choose because of improved communication technology and transport. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Due to better –quality communication technology and transportation, people can live and work wherever they like to do so. I believe that, experiencing new cultures (==>new cultures experiences) , better carrier (career) opportunities and developing better communication skills (==>communication skills improvements) are some of (among) the upsides of living and working overseas. However, there are some downsides of relocating (==>relocation) as well.
Firstly, taking a job abroad and moving to a new country gives (give) an invaluable opportunity to experience a new culture. Many people consider this as a useful experience in terms of personal development which widens one’s horizon. Secondly, living and working abroad might give (==>might possibly create) better opportunities for future career as a resume spiced up with an international job experience would be a preferred choice for many future (==>potential) employers. Thirdly, international working experience might lead to developing unique (==>beneficial) communication skills. Working with people from different countries makes a person inevitably more sensible to cultures and different (==>various) ways of communicating.
However, there are some issues that one can experience to be not that pleasant and difficult to go through. Working and living away (==>far) from your country (==>home country) is usually connected with (==>go along with) a feeling of loneliness and no stability (==> instability) in life as one might be away from one’s family and close friends. Even though, new culture is an enriching experience, it comes with learning the language and in many cases it should be done in a very short span  (period of time). Learning new culture could be challenging and time one has to adapt might be filled with unpleasant surprises and awkward situations.(???)
In conclusion, even though working and living away in a different country is a positive experience, issues such as feeling of loneliness and difficulties with a new language and culture may occur.

T.A: 6.5

  • address all part of the task

CC: 6.0

  • arranges information and ideas coherently

LR: 6.5

  • error in spelling
  • should use wider range of vocabulary

GRA: 6.5

  • complex sentences

Overall: 6.5

It quite goods, but to reach band 7.0, you should break some of long sentences into shorter ones to make your point clearer.

Keep trying 🙂

Hi, if i may ask kindly to get an assesment and a score to my essay… I really wonder if I can score a 7 on academic.
Rate this post

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