Hi! I am going to have IELTS exam on 25th February. Could you please check my essays and give me some feedback? Thank you in advance!

QuestionsCategory: Writing Task 2Hi! I am going to have IELTS exam on 25th February. Could you please check my essays and give me some feedback? Thank you in advance!
Kajal S Nandi asked 3 years ago

Task 2- Some people think that the government should pay one of the parents of very young children to stay at home to look after their children. What do you think would be the advantages and disadvantages of this policy? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. My Answer: Every living creature on this earth would like to spend quality time with their children, especially, childhood days. This is the stage where children need their parents the most. But in today’s rapid moving world everyone is in race of earning more and more to keep up their standard of living hence, not everyone is fortunate to spend the time with their children. This situation has aroused a debatable issue that whether one the parents should be paid while staying at home to take care of very young children. In my opinion, this perk has merits as well demerits. To begin with if parents of very young children are provided this incentive, it would very helpful for them, especially one who belongs to middle class or lower class financial status. If they are paid, they would be relaxed and will pay attention to nurture their children well. As it is said that parents are the first teacher to children so they can teach their children all important lessons of life. Moreover it is proved that children are like a blank slate in their early childhood so whatever is written on those blank slate will remain for ever within the child. Therefore if parents are given the above mentioned advantage, they spend time with children and make them a good human being. Now the other side of this could result into some negative attitudes on the mind of parents. They might sit back and relax without thinking of their future. They would misuse this perk and use money for their own luxury and comfort. They would never take pain to earn until the government provides money. In spite of this being a perk, they would take it as their right and argue on how much money will they get and confront government with this additional issue. To conclude, I would say that even if this scheme has drawbacks, in my opinion, government should pay to one the parents so they stay back at home and nurture the child in a right way. These young children are ultimately the future citizen of a country so they should be nurtured well since childhood so that they grow into a responsible citizen of a country.

1 Answers
Rachel Evans answered 3 years ago

Some people think that the government should pay one of the parents of very young children to stay at home to look after their children. What do you think would be the advantages and disadvantages of this policy? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
My Answer:
Every living creature on this earth would like to spend quality time with their children, especially, childhood days. This is the stage where children need their parents the most. But in today’s rapid moving world, everyone is in the race of earning more and more to keep up their standard of living hence, not everyone is fortunate (enough) to spend the time with their children. This situation has aroused a debatable issue that whether one the parents should be paid while staying at home to take care of very young children. In my opinion, this perk has merits as well as demerits.
To begin with, if parents of very young children are provided this incentive, it would very helpful for them, especially one those who belongs to middle class or lower class financial status. If they are paid, they would be relaxed and will pay attention to nurture their children well. As it is said that parents are the first teacher to children so they can teach their children all important lessons of life. Moreover it is proved that children are like a blank slate in their early childhood so whatever is written on those blank slate (inconsistent) will remain forever within the child. Therefore if parents are given the above mentioned advantage, they spend time with children and make them a good human being. Now the other side of this could result into some negative attitudes on the mind of parents. They might sit back and relax without thinking of their future. They would misuse this perk and use money for their own luxury and comfort. They would never take pain to earn until the government provides money. In spite of this being a perk, they would take it as their right and argue on how much money will they get and confront government with this additional issue.
To conclude, I would say that even if this scheme has drawbacks, in my opinion, government should pay to one the parents so they stay back at home and nurture the child in a right way. These young children are ultimately the future citizen of a country so they should be nurtured well since childhood so that they grow into a responsible citizen of a country.
TA – 4.5

  • address the task only partially
  • some parts may be fully covered than the other

CC – 5.0

  • present information with some organization

LR – 5.5

  • use an adequate range for the task

GRA – 5.0

  • use a mix of complex and simple sentence forms
  • errors in punctuation

Overall 5.0
Weak reasoning and coherence

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