Hi everyone, Im new to this forum. Can you guys pls help to check and commend on my essay. Thanks,

QuestionsCategory: Writing Task 2Hi everyone, Im new to this forum. Can you guys pls help to check and commend on my essay. Thanks,
alirezaaa86 asked 2 months ago

TOPIC: Some people believe that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians, or sports stars) are paid too much. Do you agree or disagree? which other types of jobs should be highly paid? 
 
     Famous people have always taken a lot of financial advantages from their position. Some individuals think that the money they are earning is very high, and there are some other careers which should be highly paid as well. However, it is felt that their salaries appear to be fair. These matters will be analyzed by looking at how high-profile entertainers benefit companies and clubs, and also other fields of occupation which are entitled to be well-paid. 
     On the one hand, it might be said that companies and clubs, in various fields of entertainments and sports, can achieve countless profits through making a contract with superstars. Take Leo Messi, who is the most famous football player worldwide, for example. Barcelona Football Club, where Messi is under contractual obligation, has been making million dollars a year through selling kits inscribed with the name of Messi. This example obviously shows the role of famous stars in clubs’ and companies’ income. Thus, the money they are paid seems to be accorded to the benefits they bring with themselves.
     On the other hand, it might be argued that there are some rewarding science-related jobs which benefit the world with their scientific studies and contributions. For example, scientists in medical branches save people’s lives by curing illnesses and preventing contagious diseases from outbreaks. This illustrates that they deserve to be highly paid due to their precious contributions. This is clear that these kinds of career are priceless, however, it is worth they are paid as much money as superstars.
     After analyzing how entertainers can make money for their employers, it seems to be just that they are paid high salaries. Moreover, medical-related professions are vital for mankind’s healthfulness, thus, it is extremely recommended that to be highly paid. 

Hi everyone, Im new to this forum. Can you guys pls help to check and commend on my essay. Thanks,
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Rachel replied 2 months ago

however, 1 more illustration for further analysis in each body parag. would be better.

2 Answers
alirezaaa86 answered 2 months ago

 hi

Hi everyone, Im new to this forum. Can you guys pls help to check and commend on my essay. Thanks,
Rate this post

Rachel replied 2 months ago

however, 1 more illustration for further analysis in each body parag. would be better.

Rachel Evans answered 2 months ago

     Famous people have always taken a lot of financial advantages from their position. Some individuals think that the money they are earning is very high, and there are some other careers which should be highly paid as well. However, it is felt that their salaries appear to be fair. These matters will be analyzed by looking at how high-profile entertainers benefit companies and clubs, and also other fields of occupation which are entitled to be well-paid. 
     On the one hand, it might be said that companies and clubs, in various fields of entertainments and sports, can achieve countless profits through making a contract with superstars. Take Leo Messi, who is the most famous football player worldwide, for example. Barcelona Football Club, where Messi is under contractual obligation, has been making million dollars a year through selling kits inscribed with the name of Messi. This example obviously shows the role of famous stars in clubs’ and companies’ income. Thus, the money they are paid seems to be accorded to the benefits they bring with themselves.
     On the other hand, it might be argued that there are some rewarding science-related jobs which benefit the world with their scientific studies and contributions. For example, scientists in medical branches save people’s lives by curing illnesses and preventing contagious diseases from outbreaks. This illustrates that they deserve to be highly paid due to their precious contributions. This is clear that these kinds of career are priceless, however, it is worth they are paid as much money as superstars.
     After analyzing how entertainers can make money for their employers, it seems to be just that they are paid high salaries. Moreover, medical-related professions are vital for mankind’s healthfulness, thus, it is extremely recommended that to be highly paid. 
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Hi, alirezaaa86 
You should get an Overall 8.0
Well organized structure with good range of vocabulary.

Hi everyone, Im new to this forum. Can you guys pls help to check and commend on my essay. Thanks,
Rate this post

Rachel replied 2 months ago

however, 1 more illustration for further analysis in each body parag. would be better.

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