Hi can anyone help to mark and score my essay? As I will be having my test on July.. So please and thank you :)

QuestionsCategory: Writing Task 2Hi can anyone help to mark and score my essay? As I will be having my test on July.. So please and thank you :)
Greg asked 1 year ago

The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need of people to travel from home to work, education or shopping. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
            Nowadays, we can see that many roads are congested with heavy traffic especially in an urban area. For example, Jln Tun Razak in Kuala Lumpur city. To find a solution on it, someone claims that reducing the need for people to travel from home for work, education or shopping is the only way to reduce the amount of traffic. Nevertheless, I totally disagree with this statement.
            First and foremost, traveling for work, education and shopping are part and parcel of our human everyday life. Everyone needs food and shelter to live. In order to pay the rental fees, workers need to work to earn money. In order to get a better job, students need to study hard and obtain a higher qualification of education. Shopping is a must in order to obtain food and clothes. Thus, we cannot reduce all these basic needs. Although now, there are e-learning and e-shopping applications, it is not advisable to do so. From my opinion, studying in school provides a better environment for the development of a child as he or she has the chance to interact directly with other students and also the teachers. It is better to shop at the supermarket as we can choose the right product that we want. Hence, it is not a good idea to decrease all these needs just for the sake of reducing the amount of vehicles on the roads.
            Besides, reducing the number of people travel does not indicate the number of cars on the road. This is because people can opt for other alternative means of transports, such as monorails, LRT, and commuter. These transports have their own tracks that do not cause traffic jam on road. People can also choose to walk if their destination is just a few stone throw’s away form home. Apart from that, there are still many ways to reduce the amount of traffic, such as use public transport, practise carpooling or even depart earlier in order to avoid the peak hours. Thus, instead of reducing the amount of people travel, it is more significant to change the attitudes of drivers to practise such habits by creating awareness among them.
            Last but not least, the government can play a role in reducing the number of cars on a road on a certain period. For instance, Singapore government implement a rule that only allows yellow plated cars to travel on the road during the peak hours (7-8am and 6-7pm), but of course, the drivers need to pay a higher road tax. Other drivers can opt to depart from home before 7 or after 8 to work. It can be tedious, but it is indeed a great measure in reducing the amount of traffic.
            In a nutshell, we cannot deny the fact that there are still many other ways to solve the high amount of traffic, thus reducing the needs for travel is not the one and only way to rectify this problem.

Hi can anyone help to mark and score my essay? As I will be having my test on July.. So please and thank you 🙂
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Khurshidbek replied 1 year ago

Hi can anyone help to mark and score my essay? As I will be having my test on July.. So please and thank you 🙂

Questions › Category: Writing Task 2 › Hi can anyone help to mark and score my essay? As I will be having my test on July.. So please and thank you 🙂
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Zhen asked 4 hours ago Subscribe
The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need of people to travel from home to work, education or shopping. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, we can see that many roads are congested with heavy traffic especially in an urban area. For example, Jln Tun Razak in Kuala Lumpur city(giving example in introduction is unnecessary). To find a solution on it, someone (it is better to write some people instead of someone)claims that reducing the need for people to travel from home for work, education or shopping is the only way to reduce the amount of traffic. Nevertheless, I totally disagree with this statement.
First and foremost, traveling for work, education and shopping are part and parcel of our human everyday life. Everyone needs food and shelter to live. In order to pay the rental fees, workers need to work to earn money. In order to get a better job, students need to study hard and obtain a higher qualification of education. Shopping is a must in order to obtain food and clothes. Thus, we cannot reduce all these basic needs. Although now, there are e-learning and e-shopping applications, it is not advisable to do so. From(in) my opinion, studying in(at) school provides a better environment for the development of a child as he or she has the chance to interact directly with other students and also the teachers. It is better to shop at the supermarket as we can choose the right product that we want. Hence, it is not a good idea to decrease all these needs just for the sake of reducing the amount of vehicles on the roads.
Besides, reducing the number of people travel does not indicate the number of cars on the road. This is because people can opt for other alternative means of transports, such as monorails, LRT, and commuter. These transports have their own tracks that do not cause traffic jam on road. People can also choose to walk if their destination is just a few stone throw’s away form home. Apart from that, there are still many ways to reduce the amount of traffic, such as use public transport, practise carpooling or even depart earlier in order to avoid the peak hours. Thus, instead of reducing the amount of people travel, it is more significant to change the attitudes of drivers to practise such habits by creating awareness among them.
Last but not least, the government can play a role in reducing the number of cars on a road on a certain period. For instance, Singapore government implement a rule that only allows yellow plated cars to travel on the road during the peak hours (7-8am and 6-7pm), but of course, the drivers need to pay a higher road tax. Other drivers can opt to depart from home before 7 or after 8 to work. It can be tedious, but it is indeed a great measure in reducing the amount of traffic.
In a nutshell(informal phrase), we cannot deny the fact that there are still many other ways to solve the high amount(rate) of traffic, thus reducing the needs for travel is not the one and only way to rectify this problem.(you should give particles of your disagreement)

Try to avoid using the same phrases ,structures as well as words.Learn the different ways of paraphrasing.In my opinion your score is:
Task achievement:5,5
Coherence and cohesion:5
Lexical resource :5
Grammar:5
Overall :5
Work hard you can write better than this!!!

Greg replied 1 year ago

Thanks for your comment! 🙂

Khurshidbek replied 1 year ago

You are welcome

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