Hello. Thuy Pham and Rachal please check my essay your remarks are very important for me. My exam is on 17th,February,2017. Last time you did not check my essay but this time please asses it.

QuestionsHello. Thuy Pham and Rachal please check my essay your remarks are very important for me. My exam is on 17th,February,2017. Last time you did not check my essay but this time please asses it.
Arora asked 2 years ago

Many People go to abroad what other countries look like. However, the places all around the world looking more and more similar. What do you think of the similarity?  Do you think advantages of this effect outweigh the shortages of it?
In the present, governments in all around the globe are spending almost half of the proportion of its annual budget to develop infrastructure. Some people think that mostly building designs are similar in all countries. In this essay, reasons,merits as well demerits will be examined by me.
Many experts believe that there could be enormous reasons behind this trend. Firstly, The building design which has been adopted by all the nations is known as Skyscrapers, in other words these are tall buildings and constructed on a small part of the land. Although in previous two decades proportion of the population has increased dramatically and in this situation it is very intricate task to provide shelter to individuals yet  such buildings are providing space for accommodation and establishing industries. Secondly, a full concentration is being paid by authorities in order to construct so tall building that it become a tourist destination. For example, Burj Kalifa is the tallest building which situated in Dubai, it is not only attract local but also foreign visitors from all around the globe. 
There are several advantages of constructing such kind of building. Mainly, it provides space to accommodate and constructing industries , which is very difficult in modern era it may be due to raising numbers of population in the world. Lastly, entry of the foreign tourists is consider as a backbone of the economy of the host countries because high revenues are paid by them on accommodation,food and travelling, which directly endorse local economy. However, in some particular situations areas where such kind of buildings are located consider as  a most dangerous such as, in earthquake. In this case, there are more chances  of casualties.
In conclusion, it is quite obvious that similarity among designs of the infrastructure is fruitful because it attracts visitors and which design have elected by architecture departments provide shelter to large proportion of people on s small part of the land.   

Hello. Thuy Pham and Rachal please check my essay your remarks are very important for me. My exam is on 17th,February,2017. Last time you did not check my essay but this time please asses it.
5 (100%) 2 votes

Arora replied 2 years ago

Thanks Rachel very much.

1 Answers
Rachel Evans answered 2 years ago

Many people go abroad to travel to see what other countries look like. However, the places all around the world are looking more and more similar. What do you think is the cause of this similarity? Do you think the advantages of this effect outweigh the shortages of it? 
In the present, governments in all around the globe are spending almost half of the proportion of its their annual budget to develop infrastructure. Some people think that mostly building designs are similar in all countries. In this essay, reasons, merits as well as demerits (of this trend) will be examined (by me. – this can be omitted)
Many experts believe that there could be enormous number of reasons behind this trend. Firstly, Tthe building design which has been adopted by all the nations is known as Sskyscrapers, in other words, these are tall buildings and constructed on a small part of the land. Although in previous two decades proportion of the population has increased dramatically and in this situation it is very intricate task to provide shelter to individuals yet such buildings are providing space for accommodation and establishing industries. Secondly, a full concentration is being paid by authorities in order to construct so tall building that it becomes a tourist destination. For example, Burj Kalifa is the tallest building (which situated) in Dubai, it is not only attract locals but also foreign visitors from all around the globe. 
You should make use of punctuations and proper cohesive devices in order to make your sentences more clearly.
There are several advantages of constructing such kind of building. Mainly, it provides space to accommodate and constructing industries, which is very difficult in modern era it may be due to raising numbers of population in the world. (!! – unclear) Lastly, entry of the foreign tourists is consider as a backbone of the economy of the host countries because high revenues are paid by them on accommodation, food and travelling, which directly endorse local economy. However, in some particular situations areas where such kind of buildings are is located consider as a most dangerous such as, in earthquake. In this case, there are more chances of casualties.
In conclusion, it is quite obvious that similarity among designs of the infrastructure is fruitful because it attracts visitors and which design have elected by architecture departments provide shelter to large proportion of people on s small part of the land.  
TA – 5.0

  • address the task only partially
  • present ideas but not always clear

CC – 5.0

  • make some inadequate use of cohesive devices

LR – 5.5

  • use an adequate range of vocabulary for the task

GRA – 5.5

  • use complex sentences but they tend to be confusing

Overall 5.0

Hello. Thuy Pham and Rachal please check my essay your remarks are very important for me. My exam is on 17th,February,2017. Last time you did not check my essay but this time please asses it.
5 (100%) 2 votes

Arora replied 2 years ago

Thanks Rachel very much.

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