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QuestionsCategory: Writing Task 2Hello guys,I am new over here. Please feel free to check my essay and do provide me with feedbacks for improvement. Thank you.
sudhanshu.malla asked 9 months ago

Question: When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Answer: Traditional skills will get lost if a country develops its technology. I completely agree with this statement as it is the reality.
First, development of technology is for simplicity and easiness of our life and it is obvious that the older skill fading out. For instance, who would want to spend hours try to ignite fire in fire woods, making utensils covered with black rather than igniting with an automatic store within seconds. Similarly, there is a generation gap with the development of technology and older generation didn’t get chance to pass the skills. A good example to illustrate this is riding a horse. About a century ago, riding horses, chariots were the key means of transportation but now most people hardly know how to ride a horse.
Similarly, there has been misconception in people that, using latest technology will make them appear smart and modern. For example, when a new iphone is about to launch, bunch of people wait in queue to buy it even though the previous cell phone is working very properly. Likewise, way of living is also changed drastically. A good way to illustrate it is clothing. Previously, people used to sew their own clothes, gradually they started to give other people to sew, later they begin to sear ready-made clothes. So, now if somehow the clothes got torn or rugged, they don’t generally bother to go to tailor to repair it, rather they buy a new one. Also, the over-priced charging service of traditional skill in this day also force them to fade away.
To sum up, modern technology outruns traditional one in all ways due to which older ones are being lost.

Hello guys,I am new over here. Please feel free to check my essay and do provide me with feedbacks for improvement. Thank you.
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1 Answers
Thuy Dung Pham answered 9 months ago

Traditional skills will get lost if a country develops its technology. I completely agree with this statement as it is the reality.
First, development of technology is for simplicity and easiness of our life and . (full-stop) It is obvious that the older skills have been fading out. For instance, who would want to spend hours try to ignite fire in fire woods, making utensils covered with black rather than igniting with an automatic store within seconds. Similarly, there is a generation gap together with the development of technology and older generation didn’t get chance to pass the skills. A good example to illustrate this is riding a horse. About a century ago, riding horses, chariots were the key means of transportation but now most people hardly know how to ride a horse. (irrelevant example)
Similarly, there has been misconception in people that, using latest technology will make them appear smarter and more modern. For example, when a new iphone is about to launch, bunch of people wait in queue to buy it even though the previous cell phone is working very properly. Likewise, way of living is also changed drastically. A good way to illustrate it is clothing. Previously, people used to sew their own clothes, gradually they started to give other people to sew, later they begin to sear ready-made clothes. So, now if somehow the clothes got torn or rugged, they don’t generally bother to go to tailor to repair it, rather they buy a new one. Also, the over-priced charging service of traditional skill in this day also force them to fade away.
To sum up, modern technology outruns traditional one in all ways due to which older ones are being lost.
Task achievement: 5.5 (presents some main ideas but the development is not always clear and not sufficiently developed)
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0 (presents information with some organisation but there may be a lack of overall progression, give examples that are not really persuadable and do not support strongly for the ideas)
Lexical Resource: 5.5 (uses a limited range of vocabulary for the task)
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5.0 (uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, makes some minor errors in grammar, still have run-on sentences)
Overall: 5.5 (good ideas but you need to improve your writing skills by practicing more)
 
 

Hello guys,I am new over here. Please feel free to check my essay and do provide me with feedbacks for improvement. Thank you.
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