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QuestionsCategory: Problem-SolutionHello! Could you please assess my essay? Thank you!
Pooja Kataria asked 2 months ago

The significant rise in crime among youth is a big concern across the world. What are the causes and solutions for this problem?
Violence around the globe by youngsters and juveniles is one of the most egregious issues prevalent these days which needs to be looked after by the authorities in order to curtail this. Many reasons are there which leads to this situation but viable solutions can curb this problem as there is a need to get to the bottom of it and cut it down from its roots.
The aggressive conduct of youngsters paves them on the path of crime which in turn ruins their whole life. In addition to this, they get indulged in bad company and get easily influenced by evil thoughts. There is no denying that unemployment is one the prominent factor which contributes in the rapid growth of this criminal terminology. The excessive freedom given by parents to their children is also increasing this issue to a great extent which demands the parents to keep an eye on their kids and not let them get involved in such activities.
Inculcation of moral and ethical values is the most pragmatic way to resolve this difficulty as only then adolescents will be able to comprehend the importance of good virtues in their lives. This can be done only by concerted efforts of both the teachers and the parents. The government needs to play an important role by providing enough job opportunities so that the youth will not get distracted in order to fulfill their basic needs. Apart from this, it is the obligation of every youngster to refrain themselves from such activities as they are the torch bearers of the nation.
To nip the evil in the bud it is essential to demolish this evil which is working as a termite and making the society hollow from inside. Thus, the pragmatic approach towards this can help to make this situation less harmful.

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1 Answers
Thuy Dung Pham answered 2 months ago

The significant rise in crime among youth is a big concern across the world. What are the causes and solutions for this problem?
Violence around the globe by youngsters and juveniles is one of the most egregious and prevalent issues prevalent (an adjective cannot put here) these days which needs to be looked after by the authorities in order to curtail this. Many reasons are there which leads to this situation but viable solutions can curb this problem as there is a need to get to the bottom of it and cut it down from its roots  (Run-on sentence).
The aggressive conduct of youngsters paves them on the path of crime which in turn ruins their whole life. In addition to this, they get indulged in bad company and get easily influenced by evil thoughts. There is no denying undeniable that unemployment is one the prominent factor which contributes in the rapid growth of this criminal terminology. The excessive freedom given by parents to their children is also increasing this issue to a great extent which demands the parents to keep an eye on their kids and not let them get involved in such activities.
Inculcation of moral and ethical values is the most pragmatic way to resolve this difficulty as only then adolescents will be able to comprehend the importance of good virtues in their lives. This can be done only by concerted efforts of both the teachers and the parents. The government needs to play an important role by providing enough job opportunities so that the youth will not get distracted in order to fulfill their basic needs. Apart from this, it is the obligation of every youngster to refrain themselves from such activities as they are the torch bearers of the nation.
To nip the evil in the bud it is essential to demolish this evil which is working as a termite and making the society hollow from inside. Thus, the pragmatic approach towards this can help to make this situation less harmful.
 
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Task achievement: 6.0 (addresses all parts of the task although the conclusions may become unclear)
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0 (arranges information and ideas coherently, uses paragraphing but not always logically)
Lexical Resource: 6.0 (uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task but makes some errors in word formation and some inaccuracy)
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6.0 a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, makes some minor errors in grammar)
Overall: 6.0 (good organisation and good ideas)

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