Could you please score my writing task 2 and marks my mistake? I really need helps! Thank you so much!

QuestionsCould you please score my writing task 2 and marks my mistake? I really need helps! Thank you so much!
Tina asked 2 years ago

The money spent by governments on space programmes would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?Citizens are more likely to keep an eye on governments\’ spending since taxpayers have to devote many taxes to states every year. As public services are closely linked to citizens\’ daily life, it is better for governments to pour more money in providing better public services. This does not mean governments should neglect the importance of technological development such as space programmes.Governments should invest in education, which can accelerate economic development. There are many students from deprived backgrounds who cannot access to higher education. If governments offer more scholarships to those students who are in need of supports, more talents may be cultivated, and unemployment rates may also decline. Welfares provided to disadvantaged children help societies solve many problems and stimulate economic development.Moreover, health conditions of citizens are of greater possibilities to be improved when governments fund to hospitals. States can provide various financial supports on research about medical treatments to cancers for instance. Because of this, millions of patients who suffer from diseases can survive. Meanwhile, governments can save many medical expenses in controlling diseases. It is worthy for governments, thus, to spend more money on hospitals.On the other hand, development of space programmes is also equally important as public services, because our resources are limited due to an increasing number of people living on earth. Humans should find ways to exploit an entirely new living space like the Mars, in the long term. Therefore, it is essential for professional people to continue implementing space programmes, which sometimes needs financial assistance from the government.To sum up, states\’ expenses should be concentrated on public services, and thereby improving people\’s standards of living and accelerating economy. Less money may be used on space programmes, but studies on space applications should not be ceased.

Could you please score my writing task 2 and marks my mistake? I really need helps! Thank you so much!
4.7 (93.33%) 3 votes

1 Answers
Thuy Dung Pham answered 2 years ago

The money spent by governments on space programmes would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Citizens are more likely to keep an eye on governments’ spending since taxpayers have to devote many taxes to states every year. As public services are closely linked to citizens’ daily life, it is better for governments to pour more money in-> into providing better public services. However, This does not mean governments should neglect the importance of technological development such as space programmes.Governments should invest in education, which can accelerate economic development.
There are many students from deprived backgrounds who cannot access to higher education. If governments offer more scholarships to those students who are in need of supports, more talents may be cultivated, and unemployment rates may also decline. Welfares provided to disadvantaged children help societies solve many problems and stimulate economic development. Moreover, health conditions of citizens are of greater possibilities to be improved when governments raise fund to for hospitals. States can provide various financial supports on research about medical treatments to cancers for instance. Because Thanks to this, millions of patients who suffer from diseases can survive. Meanwhile, governments can save many medical expenses in controlling diseases. It is worthy for governments, thus, to spend more money on hospitals.
On the other hand, development of space programmes is also equally important as public services, because our resources are limited due to an increasing number of people living on earth. Humans should find ways to exploit an entirely new living space like the Mars, in the long term. Therefore, it is essential for professional people to continue implementing space programmes, which sometimes needs financial assistance from the government.
To sum up, states’ expenses should be concentrated on public services, and thereby improving people’s standards of living and accelerating economy. Less money may be used on space programmes, but studies on space applications should not be ceased.
Feedback
Task achievement: 8.0 (very clear ideas with strong and appropriate supporting evidence)
Coherence and cohesion: 8.5 (good flow, ideas are well organized and linked)
Lexical resource: 9.0 (academic vocab are very fluently and flexibly used, no mis-spelling mistakes)
Grammar range and Accuracy: 9.0 (wide range of sentence structure are fluently and flexibly used)
Overall: 9.0 (Sorry I can’t help much cause this essay is too good for me. Congratulations:D)

Could you please score my writing task 2 and marks my mistake? I really need helps! Thank you so much!
4.7 (93.33%) 3 votes

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