Could you please score my essay and give some feedback

QuestionsCategory: Problem-SolutionCould you please score my essay and give some feedback
Kevin.C asked 7 months ago

In recent year, people are spends a large of time on commute between home and company, using bus or train as a transportation everyday. I believed that people willing to take a bus than cycling for saving time.

For my perspective, cycling is the most eco-friendly transportation in a various transport and more economic. Some of the report point out cycling can reduce the stress during the process, while it can built the greatly body shape. It would not release any air pollution when you using the bicycle thus it could has large potential to reduce air pollution.

On the other hand, people who live and work has long distant that might cost a massive time and energy for cycling, beside some of the public place don’t have enough space for putting the bicycle, even for the company. The work was required a lot of attention and energy that induce people willing to take bus instead of cycling and also you can have some rest during the bus time. Moreover, efficiency is hard to get away with when you living in international city, for that the transport industry develop a wild variety of transporting without consider the environmental aspect case the air pollution increasing blindly.

As far as I know, the government can put a attention to fundamental development such as build the parking lot for free attracting people who live a short distant that cycling to work, or educated the student that air pollution is crucial part of our life and cycling is a great approach for our eco-environment.

To sump this up, those advantage and downside above though the government and whole community can work together disseminated the knowledge of cycling can let that more popular.

Could you please score my essay and give some feedback
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1 Answers
Rachel Evans answered 7 months ago

In recent year, people are spends spending a large of time on commute commuting between home and company, using bus or train as a transportation everyday. I believed (believed or believe) that people are willing to take a bus than cycling for saving time.
For From my perspective, cycling is the most eco-friendly transportation in a various transport and more economic economical. Some of the reports point out cycling can reduce the stress during the process, while it can built build the greatly great body shape. It would not release any air pollution when you using the bicycle thus it could has have large potential to reduce air pollution.
On the other hand, people who live and work has long distant distance(?!) that might cost (?!) a massive time and energy for cycling, besides some of the public places don’t do not have enough space for putting the to put bicycles, even for the company (unclear). The work was required a lot of attention and energy that induce people willing to take bus instead of cycling and also you can have some rest during the bus time. Moreover, efficiency is hard to get away with when you are living in international city, for that the transport industry develops a wild wide variety of transporting without considering the environmental aspect case the air pollution increasing blindly. (?!)
As far as I know, the government can put a pay attention to fundamental development such as building the free parking lots for free attracting in order to attract people who live a short distant distance to cycle that cycling to work,; or educating educated the students that air pollution is crucial part of our life (?! – what do you mean by air-pollution is a crucial part of our life) and cycling is a great approach for our eco-environment.
To sump this up, those advantages and downsides above though the government and whole community can work together disseminated the knowledge of cycling can let that more popular. (?!)
Task achievement – 3.5
Actually, it’s really hard to understand your main points. And next time, please post the question so that it would be easier to know whether you have answered what you are asked.

  • response is tangential and unclear
  • present some main ideas but these are difficult to identify and not very well-supported

Coherence and cohesion – 3.0

  • ideas are not very coherently arranged

Lexical resource – 3.5

  • attempt to use less common words but they are tend to be less accurate than simple ones
  • have limit control of word form

Grammatical range and accuracy – 3.0

  • use only limited range of structures
  • attempt to use complex sentences but they are less accurate and very confusing
  • make frequent grammatical errors, even with basic ones

Overall 3.0
I think, you should work very hard on writing skills; try to practice more on forming complex sentences, using appropriate cohesive devices; plan and arrange your ideas more carefully so that it’s easier to follow.
Cheers,

Could you please score my essay and give some feedback
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