Could you please score my essay and give some feedback ? Thank you so much! I will take the exam in June

QuestionsCategory: OpinionCould you please score my essay and give some feedback ? Thank you so much! I will take the exam in June
novem_abellana asked 3 years ago

Reading books keeps a person’s mind active, whereas watching films and television is passive and does not require a person to use their imagination.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is argued that only by reading books and not by observing films and television, can make individuals use their imagination and make their intellects active. This essay disagrees strongly that by reading books is the only option that can activate human’s mind and imagery. This essay will first discuss that not all people enjoy reading and secondly, it is possible for persons to make their minds and imagination working on films and images even without scripts and speeches.
The activity of reading books is not enjoyable for some. This means that they consider reading only words, especially from books without pictures, a boring and worthless activity. Resultantly, they had a hard time using their imagination and comprehending what the books are trying to convey. For example, it was recently reported by the education ministry of Singapore that 80% of millennials failed their tests when they were tasked to read a book, which is prehistoric and got no images on it.
Imagining information through actions and images from films was effective since from the past. That is to say that people from the past and current can interpret what the character’s non-verbal actions in movies are showing. For instance, in the 1930s, legendary comedian, Charlie Chaplin displayed an act called Pantomime, it is an act without words being uttered. By his portrayal of crying under the rain to make his tears blend with the raindrops, people back then were astonished that a comedian who mostly wants them to laugh, showed a particular scene of sadness in an artistic way of hiding it with the rain.
In conclusion, reading books is not the sole activity that can work a person’s mind and imagination, because it is not applicable to all and it was proven that watching films made the human brain and its imagery active.

novem_abellana replied 3 years ago

Thank you very much Madam Rachel

1 Answers
Rachel Evans answered 3 years ago

It is argued that only by reading books and not by observing (word choice) films and television, can make individuals use their imagination and make their intellects active. This essay strongly disagrees strongly that by reading books is the only option that can activate human’s mind and imagery (word choice). This essay will firstly discuss that not all people enjoy reading and secondly, it is possible for persons to make their minds and imagination working on films and images even without scripts and speeches.
The activity of reading books is not enjoyable for some. This means that they consider reading only words, especially from books without pictures, a boring and worthless activity. Resultantly, they had a hard time using their imagination and comprehending what the books are trying to convey. For example, it was recently reported by the education ministry of Singapore that 80% of millennials  (meaning?!) failed their tests when they were tasked to read a book, which is prehistoric and got no images on it.
Imagining information through actions and images from films was effective since from the past. That is to say that people from the past and current (word choice) can interpret what the character’s non-verbal actions in movies are showing. For instance, in the 1930s, legendary comedian, Charlie Chaplin displayed an act called Pantomime, it is an act without words being uttered. By his portrayal of crying under the rain to make his tears blend with the raindrops, people back then were astonished that a comedian, who mostly wants them to laugh, showed a particular scene of sadness in an artistic way of hiding it with the rain.
In conclusion, reading books is not the sole activity that can work a person’s mind and imagination, because it is not applicable to all and it was proven that watching films made the human brain and its imagery active.
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Hi novem_abellana, here is your score
TA – 6.0

  • ideas should be clarified and further explained

CC – 6.0
LR – 6.0

  • errors in word choice

GRA – 6.0 (more attention should be paid on parallel structure, and punctuation)
Overall 6.0

novem_abellana replied 3 years ago

Thank you very much Madam Rachel

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