Could you please score my essay and give some feedback ? Thank you so much!

QuestionsCategory: Writing Task 2Could you please score my essay and give some feedback ? Thank you so much!
Sohail Ch asked 2 months ago

Solar energy is becoming more and more popular as a source of household energy is many countries around the world why is
this?
what are the advantages and disadvantages?

It is observed that alternate power sources are taking place instead of existing traditional ways.Many nations has started relying on solar power and turning this into a mainstream source for domestic use.
Solar energy has clear and broad advantages over other methods of generating electricity. Most widely used power generation technique is thermal power, as water reservoirs are evaporating rapidly due to global warming. Experts immidiately started focusing on other methodologies. Sun emitts energy waves, if we able to convert this to power and can reserve it will be vital for daily house usage.
This power source making people less dependent on ordinary system and also, always providing control over generation and utilization. In addition to, while establishing electricity generation process at individual level, it ease the consumption load centeral powerhouse. It also helps countries to save water and oil for other, immensely inevitable requirements, for example, irrigation and
transportation.

However, there is always another side of the story. It has observed, that every inovation comes with few limitations,
while generating energy from the sunshine always carries few drawbacks. Obviously, it has comparatively high maintanance cost. This system needs, some storage banks, which usually comes with shorter life span, so those need to replace after every short time period. Initial installation of solar plates is also expensive which is beyond the affordability of majority of the nationals.
In conclusion, many pieces of evidence are observed, that many countries are now shifting on different methods of power generation to save the indispensable and endangered resources. This process is expensive but this could be pivotal as an independent energy source.

Could you please score my essay and give some feedback ? Thank you so much!
1 (20%) 1 vote

Sohail Ch replied 1 month ago

Dear Sir,

how can I improve TA and CC, as I believe I tried to address almost all aspects of the requirement but I am sure that definitely, I am missing some of the key points. Can you please help me through.

thanks a lot

1 Answers
Rachel Evans answered 1 month ago

Hi, Sohail Ch – Here is your estimated score:
TA – 5.0 GRA – 5.5 LR – 5.0 CC – 5.0-
Overall 5.0

  • You should pay attention to word spelling, and parallel structure as well as grammar aspects
  • Organising ideas in the ‘advantage’ part may be confusing and not well developed. ‘Reason why’ is also unclear

———————————-
It is observed that alternate power sources are taking place instead of existing traditional ways. Many nations has have started relying on solar power and turning this into a mainstream source for domestic use. (thesis statement?)
Solar energy has clear and broad advantages over other methods of generating electricity. Most widely used power generation technique is thermal power, as water reservoirs are evaporating rapidly due to global warming. Experts immidiately (typo) started focusing on other methodologies. Sun emitts energy waves, if we able to convert this to power and can reserve it will be vital for daily house usage. (loose connection of ideas and could not address the topic sentence)
This power source making people less dependent on ordinary system and also, always providing control over generation and utilization. (Grammar) In addition to that, while establishing electricity generation process at individual level, it ease the consumption load centeral powerhouse. It also helps countries to save water and oil for other, immensely inevitable requirements, for example, irrigation and
transportation.
However, there is always another side of the story. It has been observed, that every innovation comes with few limitations, while generating energy from the sunshine always carries few drawbacks. Obviously, it has comparatively high maintanance (typo) cost. This system needs, some storage banks, which usually comes with shorter life span, so those need to replace after every short time period. Initial installation of solar plates is also expensive which is beyond the affordability of majority of the nationals.
In conclusion, many pieces of evidence are observed, that many countries are now shifting on different methods of power generation to save the indispensable and endangered resources. This process is expensive but this could be pivotal as an independent energy source. (good conclusion)

Could you please score my essay and give some feedback ? Thank you so much!
1 (20%) 1 vote

Sohail Ch replied 1 month ago

Dear Sir,

how can I improve TA and CC, as I believe I tried to address almost all aspects of the requirement but I am sure that definitely, I am missing some of the key points. Can you please help me through.

thanks a lot

1

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