Could you please score my essay and give some feedback ? My exam is on the 21th of January

QuestionsCategory: OpinionCould you please score my essay and give some feedback ? My exam is on the 21th of January
Michael Hany Anis asked 2 years ago

some universities offer online courses alternative to classes delivered in campus,this is a negative or positive development ?
owing to wide sources that exist in our community nowadays, several faculties upload their subjects and teaching materials on their websites instead of teaching it in real class. Faculties do this in order to deliver knowledge to more international students as well as gaining more money. In my opinion ,i firmly believe this is an inadvisable teaching method. Analyzing both interaction between students and their professors as well as appreciation to material they study will show this.
 
Firstly,it is frequently claimed that interaction and communication between students and instructors is an important quality of education. For instance, statistics have proven that students who attend real classes have more ability to marshal facts and assimilate knowledge in comparing to other who enrolled into online courses. Moreover, professors may give their student some discipline and hands-on experience if they meet them regularly. On the basis of those statistics ,it could be concluded that people who attend lectures  in colleges gain more knowledge and experience than others.
secondly, although E-learning considered to be an undifficult way of learning , the majority of students do not appreciate such easy things. For example, what many students do is to use rote-learning method to pass the exam and in short run they forget what they have studied . This takes place due to lack of responsibility and appreciation of students, in consequence, if they found any subject too boring they could easily enroll into something else. As this drawback is sought by many, the importance of attending university sessions is obvious.
To sum up,there is no doubt that because of the wide range of choices people have today education become easier than the past few decades . However, despite all the benefits of E-learning, it would be better to use classical method of teaching due to its interaction and discipline abilities.

Could you please score my essay and give some feedback ? My exam is on the 21th of January
3 (60%) 2 votes

Michael Hany Anis replied 2 years ago

thank u 😀

2 Answers
Rachel Evans answered 2 years ago

Owing to wide sources that exist in our community nowadays, several faculties upload their subjects and teaching materials on their websites instead of teaching it them in real class. Faculties do this in order to deliver knowledge to more international students as well as gaining more money. In my opinion, I firmly believe this is an inadvisable teaching method. Analyzing both interactions between students and their professors as well as appreciation to material they study will show this.

Firstly, it is frequently claimed that interaction and communication between students and instructors is an important quality of education. For instance, statistics have proven that students who attend real classes have more ability to marshal facts and assimilate knowledge in comparing to other who enrolled into online courses. Moreover, professors may give their students some discipline and hands-on experience if they meet them regularly. On the basis of those statistics, it could be concluded that people who attend lectures in colleges gain more knowledge and experience than others (those who are not).
Secondly, although E-learning is considered to be an undifficult comfortable way of learning, the majority of students do not appreciate such easy things. For example, what many students do is to use rote-learning method to pass the exam and in short run they forget what they have studied. This takes place due to lack of responsibility and appreciation of students, in consequence, if they found any subject too boring, (comma) they could easily enroll into something else. As this drawback is sought by many, the importance of attending university sessions is obvious.
*enroll in/ on/ for a course
*enroll at school/ institution
To sum up, there is no doubt that because of the wide range of choices people have today, (comma) education becomes easier than the past few decades. However, despite all the benefits of E-learning, it would be better to use classical method of teaching due to its interaction and discipline abilities.
TA – 6.0

  • address all parts of the task

CC – 6.5

  • good flow

LR – 7.0

  • use sufficient range of vocabulary
  • less common words
  • make some errors in collocation and word form

GRA – 6.5

  • use a variety range of complex structure, however, more attention need to be paid on the use of punctuation
  • errors in s-v agreement, and parallel structures

Overall 7.0

Could you please score my essay and give some feedback ? My exam is on the 21th of January
3 (60%) 2 votes

Michael Hany Anis replied 2 years ago

thank u 😀

Thuy Dung Pham answered 2 years ago

owing to wide sources that exist in our community nowadays, several faculties upload their subjects and teaching materials on their websites instead of teaching it in real class. Faculties do this in order to deliver knowledge to more international students as well as gaining more money. In my opinion, I firmly believe this is an inadvisable teaching method. Analyzing both interaction between students and their professors as well as appreciation to material they study will show this.(what’s this?)
 
Firstly,it is frequently claimed that interaction and communication between students and instructors is an important quality of education. For instance, statistics have proven that students who attend real classes have more ability to marshal facts and assimilate knowledge in comparing compared to other who enrolled into online courses. Moreover, professors may give their students some discipline and hands-on experience if they meet them regularly. On the basis of those statistics ,it could be concluded that people who attend lectures  in colleges gain more knowledge and experience than others.
sSecondly, although E-learning considered to be an undifficult way of learning, the majority of students do not appreciate such easy things. For example, what many students do is to use rote-learning method to pass the exam and in short run they forget what they have studied . This takes place due to lack of responsibility and appreciation of students, . in In consequence, if they found any subject too boring, (comma) they could easily enroll into something else. As this drawback is sought by many, the importance of attending university sessions is obvious.
To sum up, there is no doubt that because of the wide range of choices people have today education become easier than the past few decades . However, despite all the benefits of E-learning, it would be better to use classical method of teaching due to its interaction and discipline abilities.
Task achievement: 5.0 (presents some main ideas but the development is not always clear and not sufficiently developed, there may be irrelevant detail)
Coherence and Cohesion: 4.5 (present information with some organisation but may be lack of overall progression)
Lexical Resource: 5.0 (uses only basic and limited range of vocabulary)
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 4.0 (uses only a very limited range of structures, some structures are accurate but errors predominate and punctuation is often faulty)
Overall: 5.0 (this task needs to be improved. You should write more logical, precise, and concise and pay more attention on spelling)
 
 

Could you please score my essay and give some feedback ? My exam is on the 21th of January
3 (60%) 2 votes

Michael Hany Anis replied 2 years ago

thank u 😀

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