Could you please score my essay and give some feedback ?

QuestionsCategory: Writing Task 2Could you please score my essay and give some feedback ?
vinay123 asked 7 months ago

It has been more than 30 years since man first landed on the moon. 
Some people think that space research is a waste of money.
Do you agree or disagree?
Many developed and developing countries are involved in space research. US, France, Russia, India, UK are leading among all. Definitely, it involves tremendous amount of efforts and money for any space researches. Not all researches are fruitful or beneficial in short period but definitely will return back in one or the other form and benefit the mankind.
As well known, in this era, technologies especially in the field of telecommunications are growing in speed. Mobile networks, television broadcasting, radio broad castings etc are communicated through satellites which are the results of successful space researches. In older days, movies were broadcasted in theatres using film roll technology but nowadays most theatres are run through satellites which are better and convenient. Another better example is GPS using which we are finding the routes of unknown address with usage of internet. Natural resources under the earth are identified using satellites, whether forecasting is done using satellite through which most natural disasters are identified in-advance and give alarm to prepare well so indirectly minimising the damages caused. Missile technology, radar technology, GPS  are used in military systems which are the results of space research .Nowadays, technology itself is the great weapon to fight against the enemies.
Some people say it is waste to spend on astronauts and space but remember even to debate on this topic  most of them use public platform in television to broadcast their opinion which is again the result of space research.
Yes, it is always not possible to get the benefits immediately. It takes lot of time and money to make the research successful. If our ancestors had stopped investing on space research thinking its waste of money as the results are not immediate we would have not got these benefits which we are enjoying now. Hence, in my opinion considering lots of benefits I shall say it is worth investing on space researches rather than thinking its waste.
 

Could you please score my essay and give some feedback ?
4 (80%) 1 vote

vinay123 replied 6 months ago

Thank you Rachel

2 Answers
vinay123 answered 7 months ago
vinay123 replied 6 months ago

Thank you Rachel

Rachel Evans answered 7 months ago

Many developed and developing countries are involved in space research. The US, France, Russia, India, and the UK are leading among all. Definitely, it involves tremendous amount of efforts and money for any space researches. Not all researches are fruitful or beneficial in short period but definitely will return back in one or the other form and benefit the mankind.
As well known, in this era, technologies especially in the field of telecommunications are growing in speed. Mobile networks, television broadcasting, radio broadcastings, etc are communicated through satellites which are the results of successful space researches. In older days, movies were broadcasted in theatres using film roll technology but nowadays most theatres are run through satellites which are better and more convenient. Another better example is GPS using which we are finding the routes of unknown address with usage the use of internet (… GPS, which enables us to find…). Natural resources under the earth are identified using satellites, whether forecasting is done using satellite through which most natural disasters are identified in-advance and give alarm to prepare well so indirectly minimising the damages caused. Missile technology, radar technology, GPS are used in military systems which are the results of space research. Nowadays, technology itself is the great weapon to fight against the enemies.
Some people say it is waste to spend on astronauts and space but remember even to debate on this topic  most of them use public platform in television to broadcast their opinion which is again the result of space research.
(shouldn’t) Yes, it is always not possible to get the benefits immediately. It takes lot of time and money to make the research successful. If our ancestors had stopped investing on space research thinking its waste of money as the results are not immediate we would have not got these benefits which we are enjoying now. Hence, in my opinion considering lots of benefits I shall say it is worth investing on space researches rather than thinking its waste.
Task achievement – 6.0

  • address all parts of the task, however some parts are more fully covered than the others

Coherence and cohesion – 6.0

  • Transitions between ideas are not really smooth

Lexical resource – 6.5

  • use less common lexical items
  • repetitive at some points
  • make some errors in article, spelling..

Grammatical range and accuracy – 6.5

  • use a variety of grammatical structures
  • make some errors in punctuation

Overall 6.0

Could you please score my essay and give some feedback ?
4 (80%) 1 vote

vinay123 replied 6 months ago

Thank you Rachel

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