could you please score and check my essay. thanks very much

Questionscould you please score and check my essay. thanks very much
Nhựt Tân asked 3 months ago

nowadays, it is important to consider how to tackle the environmental problem, especially on air pollution which can be seen as the worst factor harming our health. many people hold onto the view that the air pollution can mere be eliminated by reducing the number of air travels. personally, I wholeheartedly disagree with this idea because it may curtail many demerits with this policy.

on the one hand, declining the air travels not only may reduce the quality of life of dwellers but also create the drawbacks in economics\’ communication. firstly, the aeroplane being the fastest, most convenient, luxury way now, is one of the most means of transport which is enticing the dwellers to travel. therefore, it is a huge wrong to forbid them to utilise this convenient mode of transport, as well as harming human freedom.furthermore, in the economic affair, although thanks to the state-of-the-art technology such as via mail, social network as well as mobile phones, the business men can communicate more efficiently, it can be hardly denied that in many essential contracts, they surely need to meet each other directly in other to hold the decisions better.

on the other hand, there appears to have plenty of emergency situations which is required less time to regulate and address. for example, in the politic affair, it is required more communications directly to bring the win-win benefits to each country.

all thing considered, convenience is what air travel is all about. so, the central government should announce the dwellers taking their responsibility to save our Earth in a better way.

could you please score and check my essay. thanks very much
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Nhựt Tân replied 3 months ago

sory, i forgot the statement.
Restricting air travel is the only way to prevent air pollution. Do you agree?

1 Answers
Rachel Evans answered 2 months ago

Nowadays, it is important to consider how to tackle the environmental problems, especially on air pollution, which can be seen as the worst factor harming our health. Many people hold onto the view that the air pollution can mere be eliminated by reducing the number of air travels. Personally, I wholeheartedly disagree with this idea because it may curtail many demerits with this policy.

On the one hand, declining the air travels not only may reduce the quality of life of dwellers (I’d not use dweller alone, as it often on a compound) but also create the drawbacks in economics’ communication. Firstly, the aeroplane being the fastest, most convenient, luxury way now, is one of the most means of transport which is enticing the dwellers to travel (you should rearrange the order of this sentence to make it clearer). Therefore, it is a huge wrong (word choice) to forbid them to utilise this convenient mode of transport, as well as harming human freedom. Furthermore, in the economic affair, although thanks to the state-of-the-art technology such as via mail, social network as well as mobile phones, the businessmen can communicate more efficiently, it can be hardly denied that in many essential contracts, they surely need to meet each other directly in [other] order to hold the decisions better.

On the other hand, there appears to have plenty of emergency situations which is are required less time to regulate and address. For example, in the politic affair, it is required more communications directly to bring the win-win benefits to each country.

All thing considered, convenience is what air travel is all about. so, the central government should announce the dwellers taking their responsibility to save our Earth in a better way.

Nhat Tan, you have mentioned demerits of the solution, but they were not well presented (ill-connected and lack of supporting ideas) Word used may be errored at places, and structures at some points confusing.

Overall this essay shoud get around 5.5

could you please score and check my essay. thanks very much
Rate this post

Nhựt Tân replied 3 months ago

sory, i forgot the statement.
Restricting air travel is the only way to prevent air pollution. Do you agree?

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