Could you please give feedback and evaluate my writing Task 2. Thanks

QuestionsCategory: OpinionCould you please give feedback and evaluate my writing Task 2. Thanks
Zouhair asked 1 year ago

The society would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose and can even damaging. Do you agree or disagree?
It is often argued that prohibiting all sorts of announcements would be a positive police to the society. This essay disagrees with that suggestion completely because of the benefits that many advertisements bring to people. The essay will first explain how some ads have a negative influence in the society and then discuss how useful can be some commercials.
Advertising most of time is related to lies and hiding the truth to customers because advertisers use a wide range of methods to convince people that their products are the best and they have only merits with no drawbacks. For example, a typical case of fake ad is the commercial of a shampoo, which always is presented by a splendid woman with an incredible hair, and they try to persuade consumers that their shampoo will give every woman an awesome hair only in few with no regard to the kind of hair that they have.
There is not a shadow of doubt that advertisements have become a necessary part in modern culture. In fact, announcements have a huge range of benefits for society because they maintain purchaser informed about the latest and newest products as well as the foremost discounts in order to encourage people to buy them. Therefore, that benefits both consumers and sellers.    
In conclusion, it does not seem unreasonable to suggest that interdicting all kind of advertising will have a negative effect on the society because it is quite clear that advertisements have a broad range of advantages.

Could you please give feedback and evaluate my writing Task 2. Thanks
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1 Answers
bee answered 1 year ago

It is often argued that prohibiting all sorts of announcements would be a positive police to the society. This essay disagrees with that suggestion completely because of the benefits that many advertisements bring to people. The essay(instead say : further paragraphs) will first explain how some ads have a negative influence in the society and then discuss how useful can be some commercials. Advertising most of time is related to lies and hiding the truth to customers because advertisers use a wide range of methods to convince people that their products are the best and they have only merits with no drawbacks. For example, a typical case of fake ad is the commercial of a shampoo, which always is presented by a splendid woman with an incredible hair, and they try to persuade consumers that their shampoo will give every woman an awesome hair only in few with no regard to the kind of hair that they have.(add here beggining phrase: Notwithstanding or However) There is not a shadow of doubt that advertisements have become a necessary part in modern culture. In fact, announcements have a huge range of benefits for society because they maintain purchaser informed about the latest and newest products as well as the foremost discounts in order to encourage people to buy them. Therefore, that benefits( instead of this words say: It would be useful for…) both consumers and sellers. In conclusion, it does not seem unreasonable to suggest that interdicting all kind of advertising will have a negative effect on the society because it is quite clear that advertisements have a broad range of advantages.
 
P.S.: If you are completely disagree with the statement, you should not give any kind of negative sides of ads…
If you want to mention side effects of them , you should write in introduction that you are partly agree with the statement.
Essay is well-written , but there exist some mistakes with words ( you should use as much academic words as possible , moreover, try to find synonims to some words and phrases). Overall , it is not bad . I liked your example with a shampoo and understood that such a problem exist throughout the world ))) I put You 6.5 … I think that you have a potential to get much higher result .

Could you please give feedback and evaluate my writing Task 2. Thanks
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