Could you please evaluate my essay and score

QuestionsCategory: Writing Task 2Could you please evaluate my essay and score
Sohail Ch asked 6 months ago
Government investment in the art,such as music and theater is a waste of money. 
Government must invest this money in public service instead.
To what extent do you agree.


Every government should set their priority towards public's interest. A considerable amount 
of financial resources should be allocated for betterment of the people.However, spending on
arts and culture itself not a wastage.
people are always been a center of official's attentions and rightly so. It is their
dire responsibility to provide basic facilities and services to the nationals.while distributing
the funds there is always a plan,things in high demand like health, education, infrastructure
and other similar services should be the first and foremost concern.
Non pragmatic budgetting may result as imbalanced soceity. Financial assets can play very vital
role towards betterment of the nation. So it is very important to asses public requirements
and then the priorties should be decided.
Arts and culture are soft face of any nation. Recreational are inevitable for the society
espacially music and theater.Music is considered as food for soul and can exert appriciable
impact. Art ensures peace and harmony among the ethnic segregation. So investing on arts and
music is also equally necessary as on other amenities.
Governments should not neglect,The music and art industry. They should also construct new
arts and music institute and as well as range of state-of-the-art theater across the country.
This should not cosidered as wastage or misuse of the funds.
While concluding this important debate,is my opinion spending to prevalance of art is as much
import as spending funds for other public services. Mean time I am also convinced that public
services should have larger part in resources than art and music.

Could you please evaluate my essay and score
5 (100%) 1 vote

1 Answers
Rachel Evans answered 5 months ago

Every government should set their priority towards public’s interest. A considerable amount of financial resources should be allocated for betterment of the people. However, spending on arts and culture itself is not a wastage. (therefore this is a partially agree essay, you should introduce that here on your thesis statement)
People are have always been a the center of official’s attentions and rightly so. It is their  (the govn’t or people?) dire responsibility to provide basic facilities and services to the nationals. While distributing the funds, there is always a plan, things in high demand like health, education, infrastructure and other similar services that should be the first and foremost concern.
Non pragmatic budgetting may result as in an imbalanced soceity society. Financial assets can play very vital role towards the betterment of the a nation. So it is very important to assess public requirements and then the priorities should be decided.
Arts and culture are soft face of any nation. Recreational are inevitable for the society espacially (typo) music and theater. Music is considered as food for soul and can exert appriciable (typo) impact. Art ensures peace and harmony among the ethnic segregation. So investing on arts and music is also equally necessary as on other amenities.
Governments should not neglect the music and art industry. They should also construct new arts and music institute and as well as range of state-of-the-art theater across the country. This should not cosidered (typo) as wastage or misuse of the funds.
While concluding this important debate, is my opinion spending to prevalance of art is as much import as spending funds  for other public services. Mean time I am also convinced that public services should have larger part in resources than art and music. (consider rewrite this part) – Grammar errors, 
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Hi, Sohail Ch – Here is your estimated score
TA – 5.0  CC – 5.0  LR – 6.0   GRA – 5.5
Overall 5.0

Could you please evaluate my essay and score
5 (100%) 1 vote

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