Could you please evaluate my essay and give me score? Most of the criminals commit crime after they are set free. Why this is happening? How to solve this problem?

QuestionsCategory: Problem-SolutionCould you please evaluate my essay and give me score? Most of the criminals commit crime after they are set free. Why this is happening? How to solve this problem?
Asma asked 3 years ago

 
Many offenders again involve in the criminal activities after their first prison sentence. For this trend, many factors are responsible, including lack of rehabilitation; fail to find employment and so on. To mimic their violent behaviour into society and to make society safer, many steps should be taken into account.
To begin with, the most prevalent reason for repeating crime after being released from prison is, the criminals are not given opportunity to rehabilitate properly during imprisonment.  Another  cause to re-offend could be that they are put in contact with serial killers or those who have been closer to serious crimes such as drug trafficking, terrorism, gang rape etc. Thus, criminals are accompanied by this kind of persons who eventually influence them to engage in unethical activities instead of not to commit crime repeatedly. Besides it, once they are released, they find difficulty to get job due to their criminal record and therefore, suffer from financial burden which lead them back to crime, regardless of consequences.
The possible effective measures to this issue are enlisted below. Firstly to tackle this problem the criminals should be trained with some vocational training as well as some useful skills which might help them after returning home from prison. So, they do not have to struggle much for fulfilling basic necessities of their family. In addition to this, some other means can be arranged to support them. Secondly, they must be taught morale values which might help them realise to be a good citizen against performing crimes. Another method of dealing with criminals who reoffend is to have more supervision and checks when they are back in society. Because, they are being so closely watched.
To conclude, I think with proper training and under close observation, criminals can be prevented from re-offending. If governments implement the solutions mentioned above, the crime rate would drop soon.

1 Answers
Nam Phuong answered 3 years ago

Many offenders again involve in the criminal activities after their first prison sentence. For this trend, many factors are responsible, including lack of rehabilitation; fail to find employment (job) and so on. To mimic their violent behavior into society and to make society safer, many steps should be taken into account.
To begin with, the most prevalent reason for repeating crime after being released from prison is, the criminals are not given opportunity to rehabilitate properly during imprisonment.  Another  cause to re-offend could be that they are put in contact with serial killers or those who have been closer to serious crimes such as drug trafficking, terrorism, gang rape etc. Thus, criminals are accompanied by this kind of persons who eventually influence them to engage in unethical activities instead of not to commit (not committing) crime repeatedly. Besides it, once they are released, they find difficulty to get (in getting) job due to their criminal record and therefore, suffer from financial burden which lead them back to crime, regardless of consequences.
The possible effective measures to this issue are enlisted below. Firstly to tackle this problem the criminals should be trained with some vocational training as well as some useful skills which might help them after returning home from prison. So, they do not have to struggle much for fulfilling basic necessities of their family. In addition to this, some other means can be arranged to support them. Secondly, they must be taught morale (moral) values which might help them realise to be a good citizen against performing crimes. Another method of dealing with criminals who re-offend is to have more supervision and checks when they are back in society. Because, they are being so closely watched.(???)
To conclude, I think with proper training and under close observation, criminals can be prevented from re-offending. If governments implement the solutions mentioned above, the crime rate would drop soon.

T.R: 8.5

  • address all parts of the task
  • present well – developed answer with supported ideas

C.C: 8.0

  • sequence ideas and information logically

L.R: 8.0

  • wide range of vocabulary

G.A: 8.0

  • use combination of complex and simple structure.
  • minor grammatical mistakes.

Overall: 8.0

Great job!

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