Could you please check my writing task_1 and give some feedback and score?) thanks in advance…

QuestionsCategory: Writing Task 1Could you please check my writing task_1 and give some feedback and score?) thanks in advance…
ashish patil asked 2 years ago

You recently attened a meeting at a hotel. when you return home you found you had left some doccument at the hotel. write to the manager
say where you think you left the paper .
explain why they are so important
tell the manager what you want him to do.

Dear sir,
I am Ashish patil, work with ITC tobbaco comapny. My had organised a meeting in your hotel on 2 december,on that day i had attended ameeting.After the completed our meeting i forgotted my project document file in your hotel i remembered that when i get home.
I am sure that i left rhis file in confarance hall .It is really important for me because its about our new upcoming project file,which i have to submmit in my next board meeting .Which is arrangend on 7th december .My problem is that i can not make another file within short span .I spend 2 month on this file to complete.
So, i request you to take prompt action to find my file . If you get it ,let it be closed then call me on …….. . Its really important so i personally i will collect it..
I am waiting to hear from you .
Yours faithfully.
Ashish patil.

Could you please check my writing task_1 and give some feedback and score?) thanks in advance…
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4 Answers
ashish patil answered 2 years ago

You recently attened a meeting at a hotel. when you return home you found you had left some doccument at the hotel. write to the manager
say where you think you left the paper .
explain why they are so important
tell the manager what you want him to do.

Dear sir,
I am Ashish patil, work with ITC tobbaco comapny. My had organised a meeting in your hotel on 2 december,on that day i had attended ameeting.After the completed our meeting i forgotted my project document file in your hotel i remembered that when i get home.
I am sure that i left rhis file in confarance hall .It is really important for me because its about our new upcoming project file,which i have to submmit in my next board meeting .Which is arrangend on 7th december .My problem is that i can not make another file within short span .I spend 2 month on this file to complete.
So, i request you to take prompt action to find my file . If you get it ,let it be closed then call me on …….. . Its really important so i personally i will collect it..
I am waiting to hear from you .
Yours faithfully.
Ashish patil.

Could you please check my writing task_1 and give some feedback and score?) thanks in advance…
Rate this post

ashish patil answered 2 years ago

You recently attened a meeting at a hotel. when you return home you found you had left some doccument at the hotel. write to the manager
say where you think you left the paper .
explain why they are so important
tell the manager what you want him to do.

Dear sir,
I am Ashish patil and I work with ITC tobbaco company. My company had organised a meeting at your hotel on 2nd December. On that day i had attended the meeting. After our meeting I forgot (i forgotted) my project file at your hotel I remembered only when i got home.
I am sure I left the file in the conferance hall. This file is really important because its has all the information about our new upcoming project, which i have to submit at the next Board meeting on 7th December. All the original documents are in that file and I don’t have copies. It will be difficult to put all those documents together again in this short span of time. So, I request you to take to kindly speed post the file to my address above. I will reimburse the courier charges online. For any reason, if you are unable to courier the file please inform me so that I can make alternative arrangements.

I look forward to hearing from you.

I am waiting to hear from you .
Yours faithfully.
Ashish patil.

Could you please check my writing task_1 and give some feedback and score?) thanks in advance…
Rate this post

Rachel Evans answered 2 years ago

Dear sir,
I am Ashish patil, work with ITC tobbaco comapny. My had (?!) organised a meeting in your hotel on the 2nd of December, on that day i I had attended a meeting. After the completed (?!) our meeting i forgotted I left my project document file in your hotel i I remembered that when i get home.
I am sure that i I left rhis this file in confarance conference hall. It is really important for me because its about our new upcoming project file, which I have to submmit submit in my next board meeting .Which which is arrangend on the 7th of December. My problem is that i can not I cannot make another file within short span. I spend (tense) 2 month on this file to complete.
So, i request you to take prompt action to find my file. If you get it, let it be closed then call me on …….. . Its really important so i will personally i will collect it.
I am waiting to hear from you.
Yours faithfully.
Ashish patil.
Task achievement – 5.0

  • present the purpose for the letter
  • tone is variable

Coherence and cohesion – 4.5

  • present ideas with some organisation

Lexical resource – 4.0

  • make noticeable errors in spelling, word order, word use

Grammatical range and accuracy – 4.0

  • use limited range of structure
  • errors dominate

Overall – 4.0

Could you please check my writing task_1 and give some feedback and score?) thanks in advance…
Rate this post

Rachel Evans answered 2 years ago

Dear sir,
I am Ashish patil and I work with ITC tobbaco company. My company had organised a meeting at your hotel on 2nd December. On that day i had attended the meeting. After our meeting I forgot (i forgotted) my project file at your hotel I remembered only when i got home.
I am sure I left the file in the conferance hall. This file is really important because its has all the information about our new upcoming project, which i have to submit at the next Board meeting on 7th December. All the original documents are in that file and I don’t have copies. It will be difficult to put all those documents together again in this short span of time. So, I request you to take to kindly speed post the file to my address above. I will reimburse the courier charges online. For any reason, if you are unable to courier the file please inform me so that I can make alternative arrangements.

I look forward to hearing from you.

I am waiting to hear from you .
Yours faithfully.
Ashish patil.

  • Some parts you made the same mistakes that I’ve highlighted on the previous answer. 
  • The tone sounds more appropriate and the letter is better supported .

This version might get around band 5.5 – 6

Could you please check my writing task_1 and give some feedback and score?) thanks in advance…
Rate this post

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