Could you please assess my general training task 2 writing? an approximate band score will be much appreciated

QuestionsCategory: Writing Task 2Could you please assess my general training task 2 writing? an approximate band score will be much appreciated
dinosaur2007 asked 3 years ago

Hello!
The questions says
“Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? what can governments do to help reduce the amount of the rubbish produced?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.”

And this is my response:
“Over the years, people’s needs are constantly rising due to technological advances and urbanization. This is commonly associated with a linear increase in the amount of garbage being produced by consumers all over the world. It is thought that this may be due to the fact that communities have become more consumptive than ever before. It is now a necessity that governments act towards that issue and limit the amount of rubbish that shows persistent rise. This will be illustrated firstly by discussing introducing biodegradable bags as a solution to this problem, and secondly by encouraging decreasing food wastes as another sensible one.

Most of the people are now familiar with the idea of biodegradable bags introduced in the last ten years. It can be emphasized now that this could probably offer a plausible suggestion to decrease the overall quantity of rubbish. These bags can be disposed of safely without contributing to the problem of rubbish as well as air pollution. It can be seen that these bags are widely spread in various countries like Saudi Arabia which is known for its high consumptive society. Thus, governments can make use of this idea to tackle this issue somehow.

Additionally, food remnants that are thrown away every day in the trash represent another factor to the rise in the amount of rubbish routinely processed by countries. There is a practice that is followed in developing countries, especially the Gulf region ones, which is cooking large amounts of food when visitors are expected at home to show off the high financial abilities. Not only does this practice waste a lot of money that may have been used for doing something more useful, but this also contributes to the problem mentioned beforehand. Thus, limiting food wastes should be taken into account when managing such an issue.

In conclusion, after discussing probable solutions to the problem of garbage that show a continuous increase day after day, it is hoped that these suggestions are implemented in a such a way that puts an end to that crisis.

I’d be grateful if you can give me some advice to improve my writing as a whole.

Thanks for your help.

1 Answers
Rachel Evans answered 3 years ago

Over the years, people’s needs are constantly rising due to technological advances and urbanization. This is commonly associated with a linear increase in the amount of garbage being produced by consumers all over the world. It is thought that this may be due to the fact that communities have become more consumptive than ever before. It is now a necessity that governments act towards that issue and limit the amount of rubbish that shows persistent rise. This will be illustrated firstly by discussing introducing biodegradable bags as a solution to this problem, and secondly by encouraging decreasing food wastes as another sensible one.
Most of the people are now familiar with the idea of biodegradable bags introduced in the last ten years. It can be emphasized now that this could probably offer a plausible suggestion to decrease the overall quantity of rubbish. These bags can be disposed of safely without contributing to the problem of rubbish as well as air pollution. It can be seen that these bags are widely spread in various countries like Saudi Arabia, which is known for its high consumptive society. Thus, governments can make use of this idea to tackle this issue somehow.
Additionally, food remnants that are thrown away every day in the trash represent another factor to the rise in the amount of rubbish routinely processed by countries. There is a practice that is followed in developing countries, especially the Gulf region ones, which is cooking large amounts of food when visitors are expected at home to show off the high financial abilities. Not only does this practice waste a lot of money that may have been used for doing something more useful, but this also contributes to the problem mentioned beforehand. Thus, limiting food wastes should be taken into account when managing such an issue.
In conclusion, after discussing probable solutions to the problem of garbage that show a continuous increase day after day, it is hoped that these suggestions are implemented in a such a way that puts an end to that crisis.

  • Perhaps you want to answer the first part of the question in a separated paragraph rather than putting it in the introduction paragraph

TA – 6.5

  • address all parts of the task
  • second point maybe weak in reasoning

CC – 7.0

  • paragraphing may not suitable

LR – 7.5

  • good range of vocab.

GRA – 6.0

  • make some errors in grammar,
  • punctuation maybe faulty

Overall 7.0

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