Could you please assess my essay? Thank you in advance.

QuestionsCould you please assess my essay? Thank you in advance.
ieltstaker asked 2 years ago

Write about the following topic:
All children should study a foreign language in school starting in the earliest grades.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
 I’m completely agree with those who think  that foreing languages must be mandatory in the primary schools as I believe it has some stupendous effects that can foster the improvement of brain. On the other hand, an unsolvable discussion has been conducting by opposition which claims that being taught foreing languages at early ages could hinder the developing process of children in other field, such as maths, physics, chemistry.
 First of all, it is commonly known that it was proved by scientists the fact that being familiarised foreing language at youngest ages are easier and quicker than studiying at older ages in terms of keeping information in long-term in the brain. Furthermore, according to a meticulous research that I came across in a mathematical magazine, contended that stuying foreing languages has a positive effects linked to maths and numerical fields(pyhsics, chemistry) and also in analysing difficult situations, as learning languages is thought to create a new space in brain which is believed to assist children in merging mathematicals links to eachother.
 İn addition to that, I think, it has some psychological benefits too. For instance, I believe, become a polyglot or at least knowing only one foreing language would, without considering which field is, embolden children to exert to learn and create a hunger for them to possess knowledge as they have already proven that they were able to learn. Moreover, it would make them more confident as well as would introduce them a new world that they could reach really worthy sources in that language.
 İn conclusion, I believe that studying languages at early ages is utterly a lucrative idea as I have already underscored above. I therefore would recommend to relevant authorities that they should create new and modern classes to study language and should improve new methods which can help and expedite student to be equipped in terms of language.

Could you please assess my essay? Thank you in advance.
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